I swear I hate my life, just for this moment.
I'm lost, yet I have to be on track.
I'm lost, yet I have to be steady.

And when I fall, its game over.

Because there's always no support.

That vicious cycle

Have you ever wondered, why do you deserve that particular kind of treatment from that particular person? And why are you applying that to another person in the upcoming future?

grudge? saddistic?

We'll make an example out of it, a certain person named,

lets say, Tom, always bullies John.
John slowly grows a grudge and swore to himself he'll be successful and powerful like Tom so he wouldn't be bullied again.

When he reaches that stage in life, he slowly grows into that state where he becomes like Tom and starts abusing his power, because he wants to get things done so that he wouldn't get bullied by another..

and that vicious cycle repeats.

Would you be the one person, to put that to an end, to break that chain of effect, to be a forgiving person.

or maybe once again, I'm thinking too much?

You shouldn't be a beast..
yet you were born to be a beast.

How fate controls your life just sucks eh.

Hi, ishti and aamir, if you guys are reading this,

Lets be LEDENGARY! ^^ HAHAHAHAHA

when there're no answers to your questions, that feeling just auto-injects into you.
I need to learn to let go, again.

And keep this in mind, 'knowing too much, sometimes, just isn't a good thing'. Besides, where is the trust if you keep thinking that way right.

Wake up.

It's the same thing all over again.

Except this time, it'll be 9 days, 1 month, 1-3months?

I'm worried, my confidence got crushed once, will I be able to handle it again?

Oh wait, what's with again, I'm confident that I can make this work out, my foresight tells me it'll be super hard but I'm gonna keep trying!

Time to be independent even though I really, really have the urge to splurge and call you.

If you ever read this my little ke ai girl, I love you hehehehe.

K BYE~!

okay something's wrong with my blogger.

In the rain It's been a long long time, since I last worked out, approximately 2-3 weeks? I've been struggling and in a way, gasping for help. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic in a way, always spending extra cash here and there, to get things done. But from all of these, I realized, that I, the vanguard of my family, that in life, you do not take shortcuts, especially when it's things that lead so far, so far into your future. Back to my workout, I had a basketball game, it was only for awhile because the rain and shine kept a cycle until the heavy downpour. I did my best in the game, the floor was slippery, my shoes arent conditioned to play basketball on that kind of terrain, and the trauma about my knee still lingers somewhere in my mind. I want to jump, I want to play like before, I want to be aggressive, I want to do a proper layup in a proper game, I want to pull the ring again, I want to rewind time, I want my operation to be a success, I just want to be normal again. I know, there're people outside whom're in a state worst than me, they're robbed of mobility, verbal communication, sight and many more. But its just a part of me, that wants that adrenaline rush I miss so much, to exert my body, legs, arms, brain power, willpower, to the maximum and 'breakdown' after a shower and a warm meal. Damn, speaking about warm meal, I miss my mom's simple dishes already. Just porridge, that's left over a time, becoming all gooey and having that with my dad's garlic eggs, top grade-thin-crisp-ly-fried-luncheon-meat, nuggets, and the canned pork ribs. Simple, unhealthy, yet heart-warming. I'm always the one doing the first step to get things done. I was striked off twice by you. To be friends is a yes for me, but I really hope, this time, you'll initiate.. If I'm worthy, of your time and effort. Good day readers :)

Flow, thoughts flow. I just need to pour out these feelings somewhere. Currently I'm having four subjects to cope with, and I can only do well with 2. The other 2 subjects happened to be engineering math and physics which, are subjects that I love but I can't seem to fall in love with them. It's because I have never done grade 11/12 or equivalent, A math and JC math/physics. I swear, I'm suffering right now, everything just seems like a blur to me now. I can just skip classes and give up on these subjects. I've been going to lectures, doing revision, going to student learning centre where there're tutors to help me, watching online tutorials, asking for help from friends but, its just too much for me to catch up. Yes, I know, it sounds wimpy that I give up so easily, just 2months into the course. But tell you what, the tests have been flooding in, every week there're blogs to post to your lecturers, and the lectures never seem to slow down. It keeps going faster and faster, building up faster than I can catchup. There's so many things I want to do.. join a surfing club, be competitive in dragonboat, skydive, club, get a job and work, get a car and drive long hours and scream with friends.. and mend potential friendships. Gah, time to grind the books.

Define being the special one to you.

When jealousy swarms into your heart and soul.
When envy fills to the brim and makes you want to be the person there instead of the other.
When confusion steps in and messes up your every move.

Disappointment crushes you.

I swear I really made a mistake there.
God, my dumbness really kills sometimes.

And whats more, are we still friends?

Although we're from different places, I can say I really do like you.
But it always seems that you're so far away when I try to talk to you.

BURN YOUR WEEKENDS WELL!

Have. To. Study. Harder.

So. I. Can. Enjoy. My. Weekends!

Crown Casino was the best highlight for this week though, blackjack FTW.
Gonna try russian roulette soonish HAHA!

K to the books!

400+AUD
65seconds

lets go? LOL

Today's like the most happening day of my life.

St Kilda's beach after my favourite subway seafood sensation brunch.
Played rugby frisbee and get to dip myself in australia seas? LOL

Keep hitting the same woman while passing the rugby ball and she was super furious saying : ' ONE MORE TIME AND I'M GONNA HURT SOMEBODY ' LOL
I laughed when she said that, okay actually I only chuckle when I turn my back against her HAHA.

Back home, rest, had dinner with the asian group, the hongkongers, treated this 17 yr old, melody, tim tam. She damn cute lah, like elf like that, wanna put her into my pocket LOL

Then after karaoke hostel party, sang along, chill abit and headed towards the.. BASS LOUNGE.
Bass lounge = underground club in a mall? I think? Not bad though, had quite abit of fun but theres one thing which I want to swear about..

FUCK MELBOURNE AND SHUFFLING. WHERE THE FUCK IS TECKTONIK MAN!
They should seriously learn to hybrid it. Nerds?

K its 6am in the morning. I need to sleep, might have a lunch date tmr. Night people who reads my blog :D

BON VOYAGE TO THE PEOPLE WHOM'RE TRAVELLING!

BYE

Now they've been here before, they're not gonna give it to us.
We gotta go out there and take it, right, take it!
I want you to go out there and take it!
1 2 3, TAKE IT!

Fuck man, I'm all fired up.. but I've to go to bed FUCK!

TAKE IT! HAHAHAHAHA!

Don Haskins : You got real talent son, why throw it away.

Bobby Joe Hill : I'll tell you why, ever since i was a kid, i only love one thing, that was playing ball. Do you understand what that's like to have that ball in your hand, it's like, it's like making sweet music with your game, only thing is, you don't wanna hear the song.

I think GSL needs hokkien-gangster-language commentators. LOL
Needs a new flavour to it.

and wtf!?!? Waterbats LOL

But then again, fate wouldn't just work if you don't do anything about it.