Hard Love

When old door shuts, they say, new doors open.
It'll keep opening and closing, until you finally like what you see and what you see wants you in.

You'll then walk into it, and complete the entire process, the meaning of life known by many, to own a family.

Life would never get easier for any of us to walk.
You'll start off with no responsibility.
Then you get away with faults and bad behaviour .
After which, you start facing punishment for your actions.
Consequences and responsibility will kick into your life.

Then you'll face many new obstacles and they'll never stop piling up.

I know your life is tough, you're starting a new job that requires you to fly around the world.
I am far away from where you are and boy, we know it is tough and is only going to get tougher.

All I ask is that you trust in me, pick up the load, and you'll know the journey is worth the walk.
We have so many miscommunication thanks to the lack of tone and presence conversation.

It is messy, I want it to be messy, so we can pick up the pieces together, and fit it nicely as a team, of best friends, lovers and the reliable partner which we can depend on every single time.

I also want to fill up every gap that there is to fill up, no its never tiring. 
Keep everything real, sincere, honest and busy.

Why take a breather..

When I enjoy interacting with you the most?

It's the manipulation that is scary when you create a hoax to taunt the other. 

But it's the real actions that makes the scary, scarier. 

But, I order to achieve such a feat, you've to be certain of your decision, and don't falter. 

All I really wanted, was to be happy with you...

And it will never happen, once I've pulled the trigger. I am sorry babez. 

2 jokes

Anyway, this post is for the two bitches out there. 

Number 1 bitch that spreads stories around non stop, kindly shut your trap cause face it, that's how you absorb attention.

Number 2 bitch, I've nothing to say to you.. You're pathetic IRL. My kids would know of your trashy personality, and so would my neighbor and anyone and everyone. Goodluck ^_^

Just a little something about me

It's because of your own personality that creates a drive in you. If you give it up then you give up everything that you believe in.

Yes alteration can be made, but not to the point where everything natural about you is wrong from the other party's perspective. 

Everyone have their own beliefs, my beliefs are that everything comes as one, every action and every movement, every thought and every micro fidget, makes up the final product, be it an action, a thought, a decision etcetc.

I've thought through many processes in life, the only problem with me, is that I cannot sit and let a problem stay there, it's an eyesore. So I will do things my way to get that obstacle out of my view. Not forgetting the universe's sign. Sometimes I can quarrel with you and all, then everything is still in a mess,

Scenario 1: I buy a plate of my favorite food, I eat it, I'm happy, I feel that all should be bygones, and I ignore " all the bad stuff " and I try to make amends. Let's say I do that in 5mins after the huge fight w whoever.

Scenario 2: I help a person or whoever , do a kind deed and shit. He or she says thank you, I feel that the world should be a better place, and once again I try to make amends w whoever I quarreled with. 

Life is supposed to be complicated, and in this complex place, we find simplicity. But our brains are so powerful, that not releasing it to its full potential is a waste. 

I love predicting, I love re-enacting scenes that happened seconds ago in my head, for example, even things like a player suddenly types to me in Dota, and have my hero on follow, the image in my head will be some ? Person and he right clicks me and type then places his hand back on the mouse. 

And the best part is getting it right.

It's pointless, to some.

It's stupid, to some.

It's ridiculously fun for me, to analyze and predict people's action, be frames infront of them blah blah.

And yes, I wouldn't break my resolve for anything.

Your everyday actions would drift further, and further away from me, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway.

Dead or Alive?

Meet me under shining lights,
I've been waiting right here all my life
Feelings you can't deny that you're living, open up your eyes
And I just wanna sink into your crazy laughter
Come on make me feel until the pain don't matter
Every second here makes my heart beat faster
Finally think I found what I'm chasing after.
All alone, just the beat inside my soul
Take me home, where my dreams are made of gold
In the zone where the beat is un-controlled.
I know what it feels like
Come on make me feel alive

Singing the lyrics can just bring out e emotions in me~

Stupidmofoshitonceagain

I would like to vent my sadness and madness all here. Stay here. Cause it doesn't matter.

Whole day of school doing work, I was just happy knowing waffles was for dinner and concussed after. Have a 830 lect tmr. Stayed up to call and shit, waited and got blown. 

Yep it's all my fault. Ima live w it and only vent it here. 

#Edit

You read le you won't reply tmr. Lets see my prediction correct or not.

#Double-edit

Sian, this kind of thing always lemme predict right.

And lets try the "ttyl" and see if I am right again. ^_^

A lil surprise

Haven't been blogging meh, why?! 

Life has an upturn now. Lets keep it going woots! Beautiful future lets go! 

Upgrade, complete.

Remember how I don't look forward to my birthdays?!

Well now, I don't look forward to happy things anymore.

New resolve lets move on.

突然想自己伤心一下，让自己知道现在或者在附近的未来都跟你没有可能，然后把所有的美好记忆都扔掉。。。

不然我跑多少，碧自己做运动，做到多累，都无法忘掉。。。这美好的姻缘，这不能继续下去的美好姻缘。

Anyway, just now I went for a run, not as much as what I did last week, but I did more Push-ups than I expected.

But the sad part was that my fighting spirit's withering, mann, I've to work harder. 

Dinna showa sleepz. 

Don't wanna think anymore ~

Melting the blizzard

Been awhile since I stepped onto a track and actually tried.
Familiar faces pretty much stalls my will to do what I want to accomplish in these situations.
But after a few minutes to settle down my thoughts and such, I begin the work out to build back up this knee that keeps weeping of strain and pain..

As I ran, i feel the old engines within me kicking start..

It's as though they want to get back into the game,
the rusty cylinders vibrating and the system starts the auto cleanse,
the roar beginning to get louder and louder, as though they want to be heard,
seems like everything inside me was broken but are starting to magnetize and form up back into the original engine and improvements can be seek in the later stages.

As I put my palms onto the icy cold concrete floor,

The first push-up felt like its been a hundred years since I've done this motion, my body didn't wanna budge and wanted to give up,
The weather aided in the giving up element, felt like I had no choice but to really give in,
then I decided that my body ain't readily warmed up yet,

So I took another round to kick start the heat in me,

And I place my hands on the icy cold tracks this time,

my body wanted to go and revive this feeling that I forgot,
my body desired to push and i started to push up per crawl step
I admit, I did not even do half the track, at most I accomplished was 50meters.

But I am so excited to go or it tomorrow and do more than what I have done today.

May I slowly awaken from my slumber,
Become a better man in every aspect.

Earthquake

Yknow what happens during an earthquake? 

Yes you are right, land splits and things fall into oblivion.

But I didn't fall, neither did she..

But this stupid earthquake this time makes me feel like you are further away from me this time.... 

Much much further away.

Oh god~ I'm gonna become virtual reality I reckon. 

Reality as my perception, negativity and being pessimistic as a guard gauge for what life throws at me, and you ask, can anyone sink lower than that..

The answer is yes.

Anyway, if this is true, guess I won't be having a snow bunny this Christmas.

( faith, hope, come to me, don't make me 自摸 my wishes everytime!! )

失败之王

跟自己说过了，不能让对方感到伤心，什么问题都要自己解决，不能带坏消息，只能传好消息，令对方感到开心的好消息。。。

睡不了就把所要的担忧和烦恼都通通丢在这里，丢了如果还烦的话就继续丢，丢到累了就去睡觉。。。

千千万万不能打扰你最情爱的。。。

我真失败。

Pierce to stop the beat

I merely found it weird that I speak to you in Chinese twice and you replied both times in English. 

I just said it felt weird..

And I honestly heard you said something that has got to do with " it's dumb to feel weird ".

Maybe it's the reception,

But right now, what I am left with is

Four stupid fucking walls ( again ), an empty and breaking heart... Seriously.. Waited one whole fucking day at home to spoil your beloved's mood when you finally get to speak to her

and then lose contact w her because there's no wifi there and make yourself feel horrible after..... 

I give up on myself... I don't deserve to even live...

Goodbye.

The construction

In afew hours you'll be gone for work then party then might not be able to hear from you for a week until Friday night / Saturday morning. 

Even the ability to not pick you up and make a presence that I am still revolving around you sucks so badly.

Besides you asking me to go dip my head into water to wake myself up from my stupid thoughts. I just know I still need to make a presence in your heart until the day you wake up finding a need to have me and...

Our melody will be perfectly in sync :)

Negativity out~

Just be confident, be yourself, work out a path, come back stronger, and create a new tune to dance in

Splinter~

I just wanna call you but spamming is so unlike me, makes one looks desperate and needy but yet I want you to spend time w your friends at the same time not neglecting me. But it seems like I'm getting neglected now

Sigh what can I do, should I call once more or just sleep it away and go through the same thing tmr, wait for your texts hoping that you wanna text me? Or initiate a conversation and break that goal that I want to achieve, or want us to achieve..

Now it sounds so noob like its a single person's goal. So stupid sigh... :(

Meh 20hours~

Do I start, or will you?

I hope you're thinking of me from time to time >_<

Waiting is such a pain sometimes even when you have things keeping you busy T_T

And blogging in my own personal space is just more sacred even tho ppl read my blog -.-

Gah不想了！

Simple love~

To accompany you via communication applications,

To accompany you and feel connected w you anytime anywhere,

To accompany you until the time to rest,

Under the same night sky,

Is bliss that is beyond imagination.

~

The love corruption

Despite the rules and regulations,

Even if I have a head start now in this race,

Because of all the odds that I've to overcome,

Please be a unscrupulous and kayu referee/judge, 

And let me finish first in your heart. 

Let me unlock them dreams with you.

The last resort for this situation

Regardless of any or all of the pain and irritation, the confusion, the unresolved, the future..

I just want to be able to spend all my free time with you. 

It's never enough definitely, to last me through another 6 months and all. But, I guess that's all I want for now, I'll satisfy that!

And while typing all these, I wonder about your thoughts all day.