I've always been into a fix these few months, half a year in fact or more.
Even since I went into NS, I've been thinking of what are the prospect of my career in the future.

I had afew ambitions, which were all destroyed thank to ' you know what '
I have alot of things I cannot just be cruel and let go of it, some of it took years to build up even.
Yesterday night I talked to my dad about it, he gave me a new route towards my future.
Should I take it up or not 's up to me and that decision will affect my future already.

But one thing for sure, during this part of my life, I've learnt something. I've learnt that one, must be hard hearted sometimes and most importantly, to never reveal that vulnerable side of one. It makes you feel so empty and retarded, 'naked' even.

I really want a good life ahead for my family in the future, especially a beautiful house and a above average lifestyle. Just that this route opened for me from my dad 's really gonna be a stressful one.

I'm afraid,
afraid that I can't take the stress.
afraid that I'll screw up his 20-30years business.
afraid that I will not have a happy family cause my dad's business is really close to 24/7 at the factory and keep flying overseas to work.
afraid that if I really pick this route, I'll lose that 'monkey' due to time overspent on career cause of imbalanced lifestyle because a guy.. have to really carve out a stable career before working on the rest of his life.
and afraid.. that whether she's ready for me or not, elaboration's not needed i guess.

Because, I've already screwed up umpteen times in life, I know, setbacks are there for you to make you stronger and blah, but, I had enough of all these, I just want one thing, perfect smooth sailing in life, no more big screw ups that can just throw away my entire faith and hope and make me feel so helpless again like before.

Fuck, now theres a sudden surge within me, I WANNA DO MY THINGS WELL!

It hurts when I put it real straight. ( the knee )
It hurts when I apply abit more pressure on it. ( the knee )
It hurts when try to jog. ( the knee )
It hurts when I see myself in the mirror..
thanks to the knee..

BECAUSE..

I cannot exercise and I'm growing fat, LORRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

P.S. FASTER RECOVER LEH KNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Although I really have lotsa things to worry for atm..

things like :
1) my future
2) what job interests me
3) where do I want to study
4) got girlfriend or not ( OKAY, OPTIONAL OR WAD )
5) coping friendship

blahblah..

But I guess, what I need to focus on is my team right now.
As a coach, I think I really should go all out and train em, regardless if I lose my voice or even break my leg again ( CHOY AH, ENOUGH SUFFERING ALREADY LOR ).

Guess I'm not gonna blog much today. CW KEEYA! :)

I just finished a gore/mature/horror and love triangle manga, elfen lied.
Tsk, Idk why, but the ending is really touching or O_O

then recently i see susan boyle's video. Wah her voice alot of feel one sia. I know im being damn singlish now. HAHA! But really, her voice's awesome, touched also O_O

And I have a new responsibility. FUCK IM SO GONNA DO IT WELL!!!

dont start, dont let that momentarily feeling consume you. Andy, don't..

Sometimes, your fire gets re-ignited thanks to some weird encounter during some unexpected occasion.
You try to give it a go, but then you found out actually that fire was a mistake.

Do you hesitate or would you rather help em to get together.

Sometimes, I think I'm kinda lucky to not be able to drink.
At least I won't get drunk and spout out all the things I want to say out, all the feelings and ya. HAHA kk sleeping time O_O!

If u ever remember today, at only 4pm, the sky is already black, the wind blowing like mad.
Thunder and lightning coming time and time again.

This is the damn fucking weather, that I can never forget when I was a coxswian on the dragonboat 3 years back. Maybe that time that weather was abit more jialat, but this is comparable.

I still remember tt time, I commanded a boat of 20 and mr lim. Everyone was seeking for shelther but listening to commands. Everyone pushed really hard to hurry for shelther. Every second counts, every lightning's dangerous, every thunder make our heart beat go faster and faster. Our safety was priority but panic won't bring us anywhere.

It's this feeling, that I've to blog it down. Its that feeling, that experience, priceless.

And now at home, this weather I've been pending for, with no one at home, turning on my music loud, hearing the instruments blend with each other as if they're commanding the weather. It's like the music blended with nature.

Holy fuck, i tell u this feeling is super power!

Wah lan eh, sit mr lim car = damn hardcore or wad O_O

He drove me home yesterday and we almost crashed, a car cut from lane 1 to lane 3.

Like its his damn bloody road and my teacher also another one, speed 140 and still accelerating, last min brake and hit abit of that guy's car but swerve to the side metal fence and the fibre kinda ripped off.

HARDCORE OR WAD O_O!!!!!!!! \m/

Completed 3 hongkong drama. GOGO another 3 more interests me now. Can't wait!!!!!!!

WAH WAH WAH!! SUDDENLY GOT THIS SHOW AGAIN!! OMG OMG!!!!!!

I loved this show since I was young man. I like the 'xiao feng' ALSO. AND AND THE MONK!

This show started my taste for all the wad 'sect' lah, 'xiang long si ba zhang'. What wudang pai lah, shaolin temple lah. SIA LAH, I love this show!! O_O

AND AND, just only, my brother asked me about bleach. Cause today the manga come out mah.

The conversation went like this..

Andy - Inoue die.

Aaron - HUH then.

Andy - Ishida also die.

Aaron - the hollow ichigo kill one ah!?

Andy - Ya. Then mitsubishi come out. ( he bathing )

Aaron - HUH?

Andy - ya, mitsubishi come out.

Aaron - Orh.

( not convinced he tio busted enough )

Andy - ya then suzuki also come help

Aaron - ya, then rollsroyce also come right.

( I burst out into laughter after that LOLOLOLOL )

I couldn't think of any japanese name all of a sudden so I used japanese car brands name, hoping to fool him LOLOLOL! FAIL~~~~~~~

Hilarious, kk back to my drama, D.I.E !! Sonija kwok, is pretty pretty pretty hot hot hot! O_O!

... 8 9 10 .. PUNT ZEK AH! TIRED LIKE COCK AH!!!~

A movie made from a manga, detriot metal city. I'm not gonna spoil it so..

It's about a guy whom wants to be a trendy pop singer and ends up being the world's best death metal singer. The show's great. Nice storyline, good actors.

BUT THE SAD THING IS , to deathnote fans, ur damn cool 'L', ryuzaki or something, is this show's sissy O_O. With a cool side tho! HAHA.

Damn lucky ah, so sissy still got such a pretty girl like him at first sight O_O

HAHA ' show only lah '. Anws, ' NO MUSIC, NO DREAM ' \m/!

Sometimes, if my life's like that, full of laughter and stupidity, lame and crap, would really be much better off than worrying this and that. Worrying bout people I'll lose, people that really care for me, and people that say ' I'll treat u the same way u treat me ' and they end up treating u like a spare .. tyre.

And so heng, today i met teacher-sandy wong, sec sch friend-minhui, primary school head prefect/chiobu-diane. lucky or wad!

hmmmm.. oh wells, tmr sea training, 8 9 10 AH!!!!

PART 2 OF TODAY, KEKEKEKEKEKEX!!!

I DONT WANT GAMBLE ALREADY, NEHNEHPOK, LOSE LIKE COCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Haha guess I've to ltbc :D

I've always thought, to love one, is to give your all to her and then she'll be happy.

I have never thought bout the opposite party feelings.

I know its really stupid to not realise, actually, to love the other, just seeing her happy would be more than enough. To be with her, is a bonus.



Anyways, HEHE MAHJONG TIME KEKEKEKEKEEXXXX

FROM..

Leila Tong to..
Kate Tsui to..
Linda Chung to..
Bernice Liu to..
Fala Chen to..
Tavia Yeung to ..
Ella Koon to..
Niki Chow to..
Shirley Yeung to..
Sonija Kwok to..
Myolie Wu to..
Vivien Yeo.

ALL is hot x 325234236532623

Either one become my girlfriend also good sia~ LOL :X

lemme tell u a story young folks..

1) I'm suffering but getting better.
2) I like jaguars
3) I like eagles
4) I like thresher shark
5) I like blue
5) I like NUH hot nurses :X
6) I like to be random :D

operation means wad?
means take knife, cut cut my leg only, CUT CUT ONLY~~

I'm so not supposed to type this, but well, its for my own recollection afterall.

To my dear friend,

Remember once you told me,
'I think after dragonboat and ITE life we won't be friends anymore already'
Remember we 3 always gether eat sushi, play lan, dragonboating.
Remember my irritating ' nickelback - rockstar ' sms ringtone?
Remember your singing.
Remember the first day you told me bout ITE simei's dragonboat trainings,
And remember I came to you when you and him wanted to go join soccer, to pull you to stay in the team.

But after it appear, conflicts between us just appear and now, I think your sentence.. came true.

'I think after dragonboat and ITE life, we won't be friends anymore already'
well...

To me,
Romance means..
To go beyond the boundaries..
To do something for that special someone..
And make her happy.

ANY OBJECTIONS?! HAHA

when setbacks hit u real hard.
when the badluck rolls continuously in your everyday life.

either you stand up and fight back, find another route to achieve back your ' calm waves '.
or you withstand the 'attacks' and wait for things to change for the better.

okay, diahorrea.
-gone-