Now i look more like a man

Why?
Cause I've bruises all over, from shin to arms.

Muay thai, intensive to a certain extent.
Just that it isn't my thing still.

Damn, where are you, motivation.

3-4 days already.
I really really miss you.

I need you.
I've been hanging out with the completely opposite you.


I miss the love you give me when I "fondle" you in a clockwise direction.
I NEED YOU, HOT WATER WTFBBQ ASDFGHJK:LKJHGFDSA

photographs.

Would you relive those days.
Or would you substitute them by looking at photographs?

I would rather relive it, if ever a possibility.

Friends With Benefits film: Paradise Dreaming (Frozen Miles) by Eric Paul

(Go) Feet come down, touch the ground
I feel sand between my (toes)
Sunlight, it's alright
There's no more frozen miles to go

---------------------------

That conversation he had with his dad at the airport. DAMN! HAHA

MLTR-That's Why (You Go Away)

Taxi story.

I'll tell you about this amazing taxi ride I had yesterday, but later..
Game time first, brb.

Okay, am back, so fucking intense, watching both SC2 and HoN competitions. Gosh, I would like to tell y'all the details but doubt y'all will understand.

Anyhow, Stephano, you're imba!
AND WTF THORZAIN HAS A GRANDMA CRAZY FAN WTF! AND GRANDMA!!!.. SHE FOLLOWS HIM AND HAS HIS PICTURES EVERYWHERE AROUND HER HOUSE, HOLY SHIT WTF IS THIS?!?!?!?!?

And back to the taxi story..

Well yesterday when I was on my way to Maze, I met this christian taxi driver telling me alot of stuff.
He keeps telling me that in life, you do things for others, then you can get things done back to you. So you do good stuff to people, people will do good stuff back to you.
Though it was kinda frustrating to hear him saying that buddhism is fake and christianity is the real thing. I'm like... meh... You believe thus you think that it is real, you've to see to believe. But.. regardless of that, he was reminding of moving on in life, do good to this batch of friends, and if they leave you, you'll get a new batch of friends that will treat you nicely. But I asked him.. so what if this is the group of friends you want to hang out with?

His reply was.. then god will make them realize that you are actually somebody that they should cherish and will come back to you somehow. Time will tell, you just have to sit and wait.

All he was talking to me about, was christianity is the right path, and karma is real.
I'd definitely believe in karma, but christianity, meh...

especially this story he said to me that a thailand monk died for 3 days, he was being tortured by demons in hell for 3 days then god saved him and he became a christian.

I mean srsly... religion.. to a point, can be fake.
I actually do believe that stories in religions were created by people with such a great mind to psycho people of the world in a fucking long run that they created stories, partially true and partially created, mix and match to make the whole thing so real that people believe in it. And because it has so many years of ... how do I say this.. like it has already went through such a long point that people will never believe that the bible or whatever religion stuff is fake, but yeah. the great minds of the past created this for money? legacy? greatest mind amongst people.

Well, it is something that we will never know.
I still believe in buddhism and will continue believing it, but I know .. that I've to believe in myself, because in my life, I can only depend and overcome myself.

He didn't have change when I left, so I tipped him 6 bucks and.. he said he would pray for me.
HAHA, guess what happened after? :)
Forgot my IC, met somebody that fracture my heart for the rest of the night.
Made me really just wanna stab myself, or just knock myself out so I won't think about anything.
Vomited everywhere, cried.

Life sucks, but oh wells..

Fly away..

不管流下多少眼淚
堅持下去的動力還在
Nothing I will be afraid

Fly away　不管未來有多困難
我仍然能感覺　心跳還在
Nothing I will be afraid

I know I am ready to move on, I must not look back.

She makes me wanna~

Christine, you give me motivation in my everyday life. I swear.
MC.US, I'll be rooting for you next week. PLEASE WIN <3 p="p">

镜中影花乱舞风　谁不怜惜情浓
春去秋来四季悾匆　留不住又何必眷恋残红
红尘来呀来　去呀去　都是一场梦
红尘来呀来　去呀去也空
日落向西来月向东　真情难填埋无情洞
红尘来呀来　去呀去也空

Sleeping at 6am everyday. This is wrong. Need to readjust my body clock :(

And you'll never know how your day would be. Today, the fire alarm saved my life hahahaha!

Suicidal dreams

I just had this suicide dream where everything was really sad. Like aftermath of whatever that had happened to me so far and more. Everyone was crying and I couldn't take no more and I just ran towards the balcony and dive to rock solid concrete.

Damn!

To attain a win win situation, both parties have to give in.

Week 7 of uni gonna be really tough! But life goes on! 2 reports 2 mid sem, let's do it Andy! Gonna ping pong this week through likka sumbadi bic boi~ ^^

Anyhow, my triceps area has been growing these spots and it wouldn't go away. Wtffff. Can anyone help me!!

When life takes off, you seem to discard blogger because you'll be too busy with alot of stuff to do.

Mine took off for quite abit. Kinda happy that it did.

But when I close my eyes and think about the past, I feel like I'm back in this pit again HAHA.
(just laughing at the pitiful me)

Anyhow, today's topic is about, birthdays.

Birthdays 's an occasion that everyone celebrates the day they are born into this world, a really special day for one and they're longing to celebrate with their love ones.

Since the day I was born, I remember that I used to celebrate my birthday with alot of people. Gradually the people kept going and going until the point where, some are gone.

And because of that incident, I was really upset and swore to never celebrate my birthday anymore. I was 8 that year I remember. Idk why I kicked up such a fuss but yeah, I felt that birthday celebration just ain't that special to me anymore.

My secondary sch mates, from my class, got me a leftover cake from my friend's fridge and celebrated my birthday. It was no longer than a 1minute birthday song which left everyone in awkwardness and we continued to play PS2, some X-men legacy thingy which can cater up to 4 players. It was special yet, I feel really empty after.

My dragonboat alumni mates, made it special for me on 2008 I think. I was really happy to have a cake once again. But it felt really empty after that.

Inbetween those years, I've always dined in mayim, a chinese restaurant in singapore, with my parents and silbing. Then after I'll go home by myself and loiter around the basketball court, play ball if there're people there, and life goes on.

Then came 2009, where this really special girl, surprised me with a cake infront of all my students, ( I was the coach of ite dragonboat team ) and made me really shocked. I didn't feel happy, told her the truth and she was kind of sad but yeah, it has been already that long since I actually really celebrated my birthday. But I really really appreciate it and thank whoever that is up there to help me revive this "happiness" I've been missing out.

2010, I celebrated my birthday with her again, at THE RISE, @ MBS. It was quite epic too, I felt really happy to be with her, she was my everything until 2 months later.

2011, I celebrated with 2 of my foundations friends, went clubbing and thats it. Nothing really special. Another one of this special girl left me before my birthday arrived.

2012, it happened again. Was so close to being happy again, to understand what birthday means to me. Planned out everything. An agreement was already petitioned and signed. But.. today, I'm celebrating my birthday alone in my own room. It's far worst than any, any of my birthdays.


Hahahahaha life goes on.
I really hate my life to a point, I just feel like laughing at everything sad, mad and bad. Because I'm tired of being all of that.

Happy birthday, to myself. :)

Emptiness

is when you can't share your happiness with somebody.

Right now a happy thing happened to me, but I can only be happy by myself.

Time to get used to it! :D

My first ever trip to bundoora

Hell. Total journey 1hr 30mins for a 20min lab.
Place, empty and boring. But likka new kinda feel to it. Super country side hahahahahah

Met one super hot and cute chick. Abc I think. ( okay I admit, side tracked there for abit )

Erm, Preston for breakfast/dinner. Suddenly it feels like I travelled ard Melbourne more now hahahaha.

Kay, I just wanna be home like now!
This is hellish.

Just for myself

The story ends here.
Connection cuts off here.
Emotions empty here.

I can finally leave this luggage on the floor, not carry it anymore and walk on ahead.

Note to self : 28/8/12 3:49pm

Closure~

I pray that it is finished, well done, and you're getting the rest you've needed for these past few days.

Now that it is all done.
I can finally heave a sigh of relief and walk away.

I've finally, really, for fucking sure this time, reached a closure.

Reborn, even if the scar stays

ROFL, ikr, I went back on my words and I started blogging again.

Guess this is the only zone I can pour out my thoughts and feelings whilst ignoring everybody's reactions and such.

Anyhow I actually was thinking about this when I injected laughter and a transcendence state into me.

One can tell another a joke, and they will laugh.

One can repeat that joke, and this time, lesser people will laugh.

One says it again, and this time, nobody laugh at all.

Then I think about it, with a smirk, like really..

If things can be like that, after awhile I won't cry and get hurt over the same thing over and over again any more. Definitely the same as everybody else, you've grown out of me getting hurt and kicking a fuss that it does not matter any more. 

And the same goes for me, I can finally not feel the pain any more. :)

Actually forgot to note this down after the effect wear off. But yeah, I believe I'm ready to take the next step in life! 

The last post until awhile

My only regret is to see you sad.
I know that I am the one who inflicted everything.

But you've never expressed that thought for me before. You just keep going through the motion, while I keep suffocating in pain.

But again, it is okay, at least I forced you to make a decision and should be delighted that you have made a decision, regardless of is it me or not.

I thank you for all the love you showered me with, which I believe those were real, but at the same time, after all of these, it felt like they were real because he wasn't around.

Even if you were to break up with him 3 weeks later and come back to me, I am very sure I cannot accept that. Because if you really did love me, you wouldn't let him stay with you, and its after that 2 blows you did to me.

I am just explaining.
You can just read.

But to my readers reading this, wish me good luck in that darker path which I've just chosen.
It is not the right thing, infact, people in the right mind will say it is the stupidest thing to do.

In fact, I'll also say the same thing, but really, there is a reason why people will succumb to that route. This past week made me realize, that walking this route can be another choice to another kind of happiness. Even if I know that the smiles will be carved out by the aid of some other organic substances, at least, I can really laugh and smile once more. Temporary or not, I'd rather do it.

Because too much shit has got to me. I'm really on the verge of giving up on life.
But because my parents did so much for me, it is only right for me to repay them. I will, I will repay them and make them proud of me in the right way, but for myself, I just want to be happy and smile again.

Thank you for the visits readers. I wish y'all all the best in life, and hope y'all won't get my kind of life. Get something better, something that can bring you more smiles everyday.

Good day.

Andy Low Andy Low.
There is always this perfect girl out there for you.
She will reciprocate your every love, shower you with love too.
And you can put your 100% trust in her that she won't cheat on you.
And though she may not be perfect in every ways..
You know, that she will be perfect for you.

So life goes on,

And boxhill tonight. Gonna hit da candy store.