Stupidmofoshitonceagain

I would like to vent my sadness and madness all here. Stay here. Cause it doesn't matter.

Whole day of school doing work, I was just happy knowing waffles was for dinner and concussed after. Have a 830 lect tmr. Stayed up to call and shit, waited and got blown. 

Yep it's all my fault. Ima live w it and only vent it here. 

#Edit

You read le you won't reply tmr. Lets see my prediction correct or not.

#Double-edit

Sian, this kind of thing always lemme predict right.

And lets try the "ttyl" and see if I am right again. ^_^

A lil surprise

Haven't been blogging meh, why?! 

Life has an upturn now. Lets keep it going woots! Beautiful future lets go! 

Upgrade, complete.

Remember how I don't look forward to my birthdays?!

Well now, I don't look forward to happy things anymore.

New resolve lets move on.

突然想自己伤心一下，让自己知道现在或者在附近的未来都跟你没有可能，然后把所有的美好记忆都扔掉。。。

不然我跑多少，碧自己做运动，做到多累，都无法忘掉。。。这美好的姻缘，这不能继续下去的美好姻缘。

Anyway, just now I went for a run, not as much as what I did last week, but I did more Push-ups than I expected.

But the sad part was that my fighting spirit's withering, mann, I've to work harder. 

Dinna showa sleepz. 

Don't wanna think anymore ~

Melting the blizzard

Been awhile since I stepped onto a track and actually tried.
Familiar faces pretty much stalls my will to do what I want to accomplish in these situations.
But after a few minutes to settle down my thoughts and such, I begin the work out to build back up this knee that keeps weeping of strain and pain..

As I ran, i feel the old engines within me kicking start..

It's as though they want to get back into the game,
the rusty cylinders vibrating and the system starts the auto cleanse,
the roar beginning to get louder and louder, as though they want to be heard,
seems like everything inside me was broken but are starting to magnetize and form up back into the original engine and improvements can be seek in the later stages.

As I put my palms onto the icy cold concrete floor,

The first push-up felt like its been a hundred years since I've done this motion, my body didn't wanna budge and wanted to give up,
The weather aided in the giving up element, felt like I had no choice but to really give in,
then I decided that my body ain't readily warmed up yet,

So I took another round to kick start the heat in me,

And I place my hands on the icy cold tracks this time,

my body wanted to go and revive this feeling that I forgot,
my body desired to push and i started to push up per crawl step
I admit, I did not even do half the track, at most I accomplished was 50meters.

But I am so excited to go or it tomorrow and do more than what I have done today.

May I slowly awaken from my slumber,
Become a better man in every aspect.

Earthquake

Yknow what happens during an earthquake? 

Yes you are right, land splits and things fall into oblivion.

But I didn't fall, neither did she..

But this stupid earthquake this time makes me feel like you are further away from me this time.... 

Much much further away.

Oh god~ I'm gonna become virtual reality I reckon. 

Reality as my perception, negativity and being pessimistic as a guard gauge for what life throws at me, and you ask, can anyone sink lower than that..

The answer is yes.

Anyway, if this is true, guess I won't be having a snow bunny this Christmas.

( faith, hope, come to me, don't make me 自摸 my wishes everytime!! )

失败之王

跟自己说过了，不能让对方感到伤心，什么问题都要自己解决，不能带坏消息，只能传好消息，令对方感到开心的好消息。。。

睡不了就把所要的担忧和烦恼都通通丢在这里，丢了如果还烦的话就继续丢，丢到累了就去睡觉。。。

千千万万不能打扰你最情爱的。。。

我真失败。

Pierce to stop the beat

I merely found it weird that I speak to you in Chinese twice and you replied both times in English. 

I just said it felt weird..

And I honestly heard you said something that has got to do with " it's dumb to feel weird ".

Maybe it's the reception,

But right now, what I am left with is

Four stupid fucking walls ( again ), an empty and breaking heart... Seriously.. Waited one whole fucking day at home to spoil your beloved's mood when you finally get to speak to her

and then lose contact w her because there's no wifi there and make yourself feel horrible after..... 

I give up on myself... I don't deserve to even live...

Goodbye.

The construction

In afew hours you'll be gone for work then party then might not be able to hear from you for a week until Friday night / Saturday morning. 

Even the ability to not pick you up and make a presence that I am still revolving around you sucks so badly.

Besides you asking me to go dip my head into water to wake myself up from my stupid thoughts. I just know I still need to make a presence in your heart until the day you wake up finding a need to have me and...

Our melody will be perfectly in sync :)

Negativity out~

Just be confident, be yourself, work out a path, come back stronger, and create a new tune to dance in

Splinter~

I just wanna call you but spamming is so unlike me, makes one looks desperate and needy but yet I want you to spend time w your friends at the same time not neglecting me. But it seems like I'm getting neglected now

Sigh what can I do, should I call once more or just sleep it away and go through the same thing tmr, wait for your texts hoping that you wanna text me? Or initiate a conversation and break that goal that I want to achieve, or want us to achieve..

Now it sounds so noob like its a single person's goal. So stupid sigh... :(

Meh 20hours~

Do I start, or will you?

I hope you're thinking of me from time to time >_<

Waiting is such a pain sometimes even when you have things keeping you busy T_T

And blogging in my own personal space is just more sacred even tho ppl read my blog -.-

Gah不想了！

Simple love~

To accompany you via communication applications,

To accompany you and feel connected w you anytime anywhere,

To accompany you until the time to rest,

Under the same night sky,

Is bliss that is beyond imagination.

~

The love corruption

Despite the rules and regulations,

Even if I have a head start now in this race,

Because of all the odds that I've to overcome,

Please be a unscrupulous and kayu referee/judge, 

And let me finish first in your heart. 

Let me unlock them dreams with you.

The last resort for this situation

Regardless of any or all of the pain and irritation, the confusion, the unresolved, the future..

I just want to be able to spend all my free time with you. 

It's never enough definitely, to last me through another 6 months and all. But, I guess that's all I want for now, I'll satisfy that!

And while typing all these, I wonder about your thoughts all day. 

A little reset

Technically, we are somewhat starting from scratch, 

this time using time to set us straight, 

to nurture and help us understand each other more, 

to let us accept each others flaws and blah

to make sure that the nexttime we take the same walk, it wouldn't be the same ending again.

P.S. looking at all those Taiwan gifts somehow makes me smile, makes me excited to let these 2 years pass by, and at the same time sad that the future is unpredictable. 

Don't you worry child

Don't be afraid to fall, cause if you fall, I'll carry you up, hold on to you and continue walking with you. 

If you break into pieces, I'll smelt you and remake you, add different elements into you, and make you even stronger than before. 

Break down your defenses for me, let go of the past for me,

Let me see that smile, lemme hear that laughter, let me sense a happy you, 

Let me have a firm grip of your hands, your unsure yet trying hands, 

And lets walk this together, until you're ready to hold on tightly to me, I'll be the one holding on tightly to you.

Posting in dessert house haha random

I know how scary it is to lose things.

I've lost too much sometimes that I grow numb and give no shit about what I have lost before.

But this time, like every other time but plus additional 100%, I'll hold on to you and not let go :D

Cause you're loreal ( Kay lame -.- )

Thinking thoughts

难道，每分每秒，想着经快reply你，故意推开别人，为了enjoy each other 的声音，废话，玩笑，是错的吗？

就算不是错的，如果看不到你付出一样的effort就是 not trying 吗？

为什么我总是expect这些小小的东西，而觉得如果她不用一样的态度对待我，就不什么爱我？

真的可能看太多happily ever after for

now 的 couple 都天天甜甜蜜蜜，短信来立刻回复，每次都会回答我，wait ah，i reply my gf／bf first。

有些还会说，eh really cannot already, my "partner" is waiting for me. Like they'll literally ditch a bunch of friends just to go speak to their beloved.

But I think all of them are guys making time for their loved ones. Not the other way around. 

And thus, this aftermath that I am absolutely not happy w at all. :/

Make things right c'mon!

Rinse and repeat

Everyone asks me how are things between me and my girl.

I always reply we're good and happy.

But everytime I say that, a quarrel have to happen to us over the phone.

What's worst is that, we are quarreling over the same thing every week.

It's something that is almost impossible to solve. It's like if I demand to take it away from her, I am being a bad boyfriend. If I give it to her, I can't get pass my principles. 

I have to start weighing what is more important.

Definitely, she is more important. 

So I will have to learn to like her for that. 

It's not hard Andy, you just have to get used to it.