Clean slate

Whatever the past, just gonna wipe it clean. New page new chapter, new life. 

The day before my final stressful paper.

Every time I flip back the pages that we once had.
I smile and laugh at the conversations that we once shared.
The pictures were awkward or were smiley.
Everything was so peaceful and happy.

Until I flipped it to its final chapter.
Where all I am left with is dismay.
Anger hatred and whatever it is, with your words ringing and lingering in my head.
Building new memories with another while telling me " who says that I am happy ".

What a disgusting taste to end this book with.



Fucking hell, failed one paper, lucky can special consideration.. zzzzz.

The inner rage

Doing things with another guy and telling yourself that you don't love the other already.

Contain, my rage, contain

Don't haunt me. Just go away

Clairvoyance

Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.

I've had many past girlfriends to be fair.

Some of which that did not end well.

Some did.. well sort of.

I've dated many. I've been hurt plenty.

I've been cheated and faced the scenario head on with many heartbreaks and whatnots.

But what makes it so different this time.

Because this time I loved her, more than anything in the world.

Cause after being hurt from my second relationship, I've never been able to commit properly.

And knowing me, when I commit to something, I really put my entire heart soul and mind into it.

and when it backfired..

I plummet down to negative.

Fuck off.

Please just don't reopen my wounds anymore.

Shoes

Shoes, footwear, they're magic.
Owning a pair of shoe, would enable one to step out onto the world, walk the world and acquire many different experiences.

Without shoes, one would be prone to so much dangers whilst exploring the vast unknown.
Help the poor, donate a pair, give them all a chance to climb and know it all.

Go away.

all of you. 

just go away.

I'm saying

Hooked, is all I've to say. Gonna head to school in afew hours. Haven't slept, but meh. Doesn't matter.

Justification

Why do humans always come up with a reason, an excuse, just something to protect their actions, so as to protect their image just to justify whatever that they are doing is.. justifiable and that nobody knows them so whatever they judge about them is inaccurate or needless to be heed.

Is that why laws are created, rules are implemented to protect the system from such deceit?

Anyway, your Munich flight..

Take care of yourself.
Enjoy yourself.
Forget about me.

Don't worry, I am fine.
even though I still think about you day and night..

What's worst, I can only dedicate and feel lonely about it.
Haven't slept for more than 24 hours already. Something is just wrong with me.

18 days

18 days before the exams.

Damn. Assignments aren't stopping.

Week 12 is next week.



My heart is all fluttery.

I'm still closing my eyes and shadow-tonik to music.

Anyway, just a song for all of you. B)

Writing

Writing, and the pursuit of a woman, like any impossible dream, are not about immediate results. They're about telling the truth.

She has been telling the truth about me all the time but that did not make me give up, because I always had the concept of not giving up. But what destroyed me and made everything into darkness was when she came up with her own truth telling me that everything I've ever done is wrong and that is well observed. That blackened my day and made me give up in every aspect of life.

Yes! I have been clinging non stop.

Yes! I have been checking her every single move.

Yes! That is stalking.

What I've done is obnoxious, selfish and superficial as hell, but I have the balls to do it.

But my point is for you to wait, wait until the chips are down before you move ahead.

Don't just step into the perfect first few months and move along with it!

But whatever you've deemed me wrong, I am going to break them apart bit by bit, cause I am not what you think I am.

And..

What I have been doing may be stalking, but I want to let you people know that borderline stalking, can be charming as well. To be there, at the right place and right moment bringing forth the right feeling and setting up the right ambience for the right girl, that no matter how embarrassing or how wrong that action has to take place, it is the right kind of wrong.

Having you wasn't worth losing you.

My chips were always down to begin with, I was always purely honest with you..

Maybe that's why I got so monotone with you, boring and not someone you look forward to meeting or spending time with.

Regardless..

Next time you ever get into such .. an encounter again, just make sure that the guy isn't in love with you.

Because I am.

Irreversible touch

Moving on is never easy. 

That scar never leaves and it hurts whenever you touch it.

Back in my room alone.

Back in my room alone after a long weekend to thrust myself into forgetting whatever that is in my head.

But I am really sorry, because I've walked back into this path once again.

The sadness that I thought I've already got over and got tired of..

Just came back haunting me again.

It is like..

Sorrow that brings forth tear.

A cry that you cannot hold back.

Depression that cannot be controlled.

Numbness throughout your body.

Emotional breakdown within yourself.

Soulful cries that cannot be expressed.

Somber feeling that is unrevealing to people.

My heart just keeps crying to my brain. There is really nothing, nothing I can do already cept posting all these feelings into my very own space. 

The more I put a fight against this feeling, the stronger it comes back to me.

I'm not pathetic, nor do I want any of your sympathy.

All I want y'all to know, is that I really loved this girl too much that no matter what I have done, force myself to do, break my principles or even forcing myself to move on, it just ain't working.

That no matter how ruthless I want to be or how cold hearted I can get in doing certain things, doing everything and anything to get the job done..

I just can't do this.

I am sorry, everyone.

I always beside you when you put me into your heart

Random chicks and events, high and losing my head.
Occupying and blinding oneself.

Does not help much because at the end of the day..

even if you ain't in my head temporarily.

This is always in my head.

The feeling that you are beside me just because you're ever so deep in my heart.
But you're never there..

Just read something online

" Sometimes the saddest person, is the person who laughs the most "

... ha.

Words

It's only words, and words I only have..

To take your heart away.

Angel

He who listens.

He who protects.

He who will be there every moment and never come out unless he's really needed.

He who lives in your shadows.

He who loves you, and he who will never be mentioned. 

A little Adelaide

Just a little remembrance of Adelaide before I leave. Peace <3

碎掉的心

窗外阴天了 人是无聊了 

我的心开始想你了
电话响起了 你要说话了 
还以为你心里对我又想念了 
怎么你声音变得冷淡了 
是你变了 是你变了 
灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了 
滴下的眼泪已停不住
天下起雨了 人是不快乐 
我的心真的受伤了 

Carpentry

To build a new home, firstly, everything that was once there, has to be demolished.
Everything has to start anew, the roots, the foundation of the house itself.

Superfluous Sentimentalism

The flaming dragon has descended on the wavering moon, against the velvet night sky.