illogical

when you said that there is the wait, and there is no possible outcome positive to me.

Am I supposed to be nice to somebody that is standing in my way.

Am I..

Gah why am I even here right now..

It's just me refusing to believe that this is over.

I am done. Fucking done and over!

You said that a boyfriend to me is like this and like that.

Even that sounds stupid to me.

Just because it's what you have experienced so you thought that's the right way and refuse to accept me in just because I'm different and you've lasted just a period with him and still on going.

Bah, it's just your insecurities and afraid to let go of something that created a big part of you, isn't it. Then again, that is just human.

Because I did the same, I made you into a big part of my daily routine and life..

though I did not get the same returns.

It was my fault all along, to even try and make you fall in love with me. I deserve all this pain, regardless it's physical or mentally or anything else.

Fuck this, emotions fluctuating like mad. One moment I'm super mad, then I calm down and think and try to be reasonable and then I realize that I'm not being fair to myself but... zzzz

Okay, no mood already~

Thank you for everything..

Yours,

Emoticon Low.

Ran out of ink

She said, c'mon, let's embark on my island! You sit near the shore and await my return, if I return that is. She added, it might be long, or it might take forever, but if you can wait for me, I might be back for you. But you can take off back to your hometown, if it's taking too long..

It sounded really unreasonable to the man. He was unhappy yet willing,
Willing to put his hopes up there..
Willing to take the fall if it comes crashing down on him..
Willing to put his heart into this wait..

He released her hand.
She ran off.
And..

Highlighted before

And you still do it. 
Fuck this.

Scale

Wonder when will I be on the heavier side?

and whenever you say things like that, it just feels that you feel that way thus you say it.

its just.. sad to hear.

If only

You can say that.

Food for thought

I guess I'm really a huge impact in your life, even in such a short period.

I say

Love is when both parties initiates.
Not when only one looks for the other.

When that happens

When "sorry" doesn't fit the bill anymore..
When the pain seeps in and the other one is too occupied to even bother anymore

When it all goes downhill

dragonboat jacket zip spoil..
breathe in too much cold air while running and caused a severe heart pain
go class, eat sushi inside got fly
buy dinner food drop on floor and all the sauce gone

wud ze fugg you want with me lao tian ye? Like that torture me very shiok meh.

Lion heart

Courage is something valued from ancient times.
Courage is something that breaks you through old habits and instill a different future.
Courage is something that not everyone have

And I wish you have the courage, to fight back for me, when I'm fighting for you..

Haru Haru

Leave

Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
Ah ah ah ah


My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(Say goodbye)


Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times


[Chorus]


Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...


If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly


Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened


[Chorus]
I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you


[Chorus]
Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye


 
 
And if this ever happens, I should be ready though, I never wanted things to end like this.
P.s. I love you
P.p.s. I've never regretted doing it :)

After a poisoned meal

She tied him up with a thin little thread and throw him into the ocean as the ship continues moving towards her destinated place.

"I really can't, I really .." is what he heard as he tries to gasp for oxygen. Despite that, he still struggles to break free and called out,

"Can't what! I, I.. cannot hear you! Let me stay with yo...", he said.

As he struggles to maintain his vision, what he saw was her, at the gunwale of the ship, with a sad face that shows she had to make this decision. He could feel her heart, not willing yet willing to let him go. He felt that excruciating pain in both his lungs and heart. He felt unworthy, he felt the sting right at his chest, tears came out of his eyes but were washed away as the waves come crashing into him as he struggles to be above the water surface.

For a moment, he felt deaf, he felt that all he could hear was him panting, his heart pumping and the image of her. Every inch of his muscles struggling felt insensitive to him, as though they were working on their own accord as he dived into another dimension.. thinking..

There're just so many factors, so many factors to consider but in his heart, he just wished that she would just look at things in a way that if she would pull him back on board and abandon that place where the storm comes from..

He would make sure that they will savour every minute and second of happiness, sadness, anger and bitterness together and create a bond so strong its unbreakable..

But that just wouldn't happen..
Because, it was just as thin as thread.

Story Of Two

He saw her, he saw her baggage, he saw a storm behind her and yet he dived in..

and it goes like this..

They were two people that never met, yet brought together by fate.
Communication started after an awkward misunderstandings and it never died
Attraction and infactuation grew as the days go by.
A bond was created and suddenly, they couldn't leave each other's arms.

Bathe in the sun, enjoy the smiles and laughter.
Feel the warmth and company, muster the courage and profess.
Going through that sacred verbal ritual, you chant out words, mumble the codes, you let one realize how you feel..

Rainbows and unicorns just fill the lush meadows, flowers blooming in the trial you and her leave behind. Leaves and petals so shiny that anyone will call it paradise. It was nothing but happiness, it was magical.

As a new decision is made, a new journey began. They board their ship, and carry on towards a next step of their very own future. They talked about everything and anything, everything just feels natural..

Then he forget about the storm that is approaching as your ship moves towards her direction.
Hou plead for a change of course as you notice the abrupt unbalance of emotions. You plead her and she hesitates. She says, the storm is where she belongs.

He reach out to her hand and tell her, come towards where I belong, its a place that you'll love, you'll want to learn, you'll know that you've not made the wrong choice.

She hesistates again, and locks the steering. She keeps repeating, I don't know, I really don't know. I've not been to that land of yours before, I'm unfamiliar, I'm scared. I'm not willing to give up on this land that I've commited for some time, but if I could, I would really follow you, but..

He places a finger on her lips and tells her, if thats what you wish, I've no objections, and I'm willing to brave through that upcoming storm with you, if you take me with you.. and too, if you want to enter my land one day, it'll always be open for you.

He gripped her hands firmly, with eyes that gives nothing but assurance.
He then hugged her tightly and said..

I'll carve a chair out of stone and wood and wait for you, I'll fend off any wild beast that's going to hinder my position and sight as I wait for you, I'll keep my eyes peeled, and wait for your arrival, until time takes me away..

~

Lightbulb~

I've never thought I would learn something this time but maybe I actually did, and its to just hope when the meteoroid strikes, the impact wouldn't hurt so much.

Deceit

The best form of deceit, is when one never sees through it..
And I hate it when I'm able to pull that off.. Fuck

Best Wishes

I wish you all the best in whatever things you choose in life

just because I'm not part of it and most prolly..

will not be a part of it.

Have a good one.
until the day you decide you really want me, want to possess me, want me as the most important guy that will bring you the utmost happiness that no others can give.. then I'll be the one that doesn't wish, but gives you the best.

Digging your own grave

Just means..
1)Suicidal
2Kamikaze
3)Leap of faith - to thorns and blades
4)End of tunnel with train rushing towards you at 19373911618mph

5)Falling in love....