The rock ain't shiny anymore

At least the blog is still more of a space to throw my thoughts, anyway here goes!

The shine that used to shimmer just doesn't sparkle as much anymore. 

The emitting glow runs through time and slowly dims.

The exclusiveness of one falls as every new day arises.

And oh the sorrow in him, climbs out from within, and eats him alive.

Guess the whole point of me coming down to the city and bambooing just wasn't what my heart actually wants.

A.S.S~

My brain

Every time when I make a decision in life, be it in general, specifically and what not.

I always picture myself coming into a crossroad. 

Not that I love fucking around with myself and making me stressed up for no good fucking reason but, when I meet a crossroad, it ain't a path that diverge into merely 2 or 3 different paths.

It fucks around with me by giving me multiple paths, too many actually and the aftermath of every single choice I make. Furthermore it breaks down into very specific details where a minor tweak in the action would result in another path opened up for me to choose. 

That's not the end even. It goes really far fetched and starts to build up many many more scenarios until the end product if my brain ever feels like doing it.

Then I'll start to compare each scenario whilst gauging the percentage of success for each path taken to the goals that I aim to acquire. 

This is just a slight breakdown and we have not included emotions nor personality inside.

So it is just basically me thinking a lot and playing safe in life, trying to not fuck things up but still not forgetting to yolo hard and live life breaking its boundaries and going the extra mile blah blah. 

Yeah I just haven't got the the point.

The downside of this brain of mine?

It is when I try to calculate how to fight against a Black Hole and still believe there are odds of me winning.

I know right, feel like just throwing myself inside a washing machine and spin until my brain reset.

And as of now, I think I should stop believing in love. So real yet so deceiving. 

Slamming the doors

Typing and backspacing as the seconds tick by, so many thoughts, so many words to be said, so much hatred and so much sadness.

So many paths to choose yet bend on taking that one path.

Justifiable? Only to myself.

Nothing changes as time stays constant.

Ponder and wonder, the ache still remains.

Feel like imitating your rashness. Just because we want to do what we want to do. 

Feel like doing something stupid. Just because the consequences are overrated.

Feel like shit.

Feel like throwing my phone away...

Pulsate and echoes

Deep in my heart, my lungs and every fibre of my very being.
I want to fucking shout at your ever cute and bubbly face.

But since doing that is gonna be inappropriate.
I am going to shout here then.

DONT FUCKING GO LA CCB MUST GO MEH?!
KNNBPCBNBCBCCBWTFBBQ

Mask of deceit | Double-edged sword

Bring a face for every scenario.

Be truthful to yourself, but be accommodating to the scene that one faces.

Smile and laugh, cause it ain't too hard to please.

And never reveal the naked side of you.

Pick up the double-edged sword.

Swing it back and forth. 

Find happiness and sadness in it.

Kill and get killed.

This is still my personal space where I throw my thoughts and shit that I do not want to cope with inside. So people who unravel this, I hope you'd respect my space, keep calm and don't judge ^_^

And honestly, I will never lie or send information via my blog to anon that I want to reach. 

Anyway here goes,

I really do not understand why is the wound so deep.

When the distance walked ain't enough to keep.

All the telepathy and similarities that we possess.

Is so near yet may only be just a guess. 

I should not have gambled the talk.

And instead just walk the walk.

Looking from my own perspective that all of these may seem one sided.

When actually the answers are all kept, locked and hidden.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I am slowly beginning to hate myself.

Hate that I watch and let things slide and not even trying to fight for it.

The old me would've just .. in this scenario .. did everything to stop that from happening despite knowing the chances of success is 0.1%. 

Okay maybe I've just become more realistic and not dramandy anymore haha.

But sigh, it really still cuts me to just sit and watch. 

And just a little more rant, I punched a hole in the wall, fml, must pay for maintenance liao.

And the fucking arab in my project group use baby to DEH me say cannot do report.

Fucking habibi. Fucking bad day ( Though its Thurs already ), fucking bad start, terrible afternoon, aiya just fuck today. Fucking wish it never happened or I comatose all the way until next fucking Friday.

I'm still alive

Skipped 8 hours of class, destroyed a wall and etc etc.

Accessing and reflecting myself the entire day, as to whether if my actions are justifiable to my personal self. Whether if I can still look myself in the mirror after all of these.

And my conclusion?

When you really want something, no matter what odds you are up against, all you've to do is to become the bigger person, become something bigger than the odds and conquer it.

Those nasty information? Gah fuck it, lets start by messing with that brain of yours Andy low, time to forget stuff or take it with a pinch of salt.

Indifferent

Have I ever told you about a trait of my dad?

No?

Okay here goes.

He's a man who tolerates.

No shit, he tolerates everything, for years, and he shows no emotion regarding things that irritates him. He either walks away or gives no flying fuck about it. 

And he tolerate to the point something bad happened in him. 

But it should be healing fine :(

As for me, I am the loser version of him. I can't fucking tolerate shit, or rather I have my mum's tolerance, which is close to none, we show our reaction when something happens. But I believe I make up for it by recovering asap from the situation and try to solve it.

Anyway, now it comes to what I want to talk about. 

This dad of mine, got cut by a machine and poured iodine into the wound and didn't make a single sound. The wound was at least 10-15cm long and 3cm wide. Bit a piece of cloth, held the cupboard really tightly and just withstand the pain like it was a mere cut.

And I can't even handle something like this....

Just fucking bite the bullet and ignore every motherfucking shit that you feel unhappy about.

Dig deep

Beside me lies a shovel as a raging sandstorm comes flying towards me. I have time, more than enough time to dig myself a shell scrape to escape. A deep one even. 

The ballsy or rather, dumb me wants to hold my breath, clench my fist and soldier through the entire storm but yet I am considering to live to fight another day. 

The sandstorm closes it's distance every second as I pick up the shovel and sigh.

Hesitation keeps lingering in my head as I  stare into the upcoming monstrosity.

"This is gonna be a pain" I mumbled.

My arms started moving on its own as I thought about survival. Meh, this ain't gonna hurt, it's just a mere 48 hours or slightly more. Right after the sandstorm it'll be fireworks.

Only after a mere 20minutes i dug myself a "home" deep enough to hide for upcoming ordeal. I hopped in and curl myself up while the song of pain became louder and louder. 

"Alright, time to sleep" I thought.

I close my eyes, tuck my chin in and lay my face on my thighs. A sudden adrenaline kick came in as the lights dimmed and the world started quaking..

I smirk. 

Chuck and focus

What's done is done, it's all said and in the past. 

And whatever that's gonna happen, ain't gonna change how I feel for you.

And besides that, starting on a 20 page report that is due tmr, fuck me. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Doubt it will

The hardest thing to do in life for me is pretense.

To pretend that I don't give a shit

When I really do. 

To be honest, it sucks, but on the bright side, at least I am going to be busy from 8-5 tonight. Enough to keep my mind off things and dgaf.

Time to fly.

And hopefully this doesn't get outta the box. 

Checkpoint for myself

I have so many things lined up for me, I swear, too many including the weekly partying and trust me, if anyone is reading this, check out bamboo saturdays, you'll never regret it I swear.

I am attending Defqon 1 at SYD, Ultra Music Festival at BKK, Hardwell back in MEL, Stereosonic and Zoukout.

Though I'm on full swing yolo, I do know that I have to control myself so that I can get my studies done as well so yeah, don't worry readers <3 div="">

Anyway, you guys do know that I only post when I have thoughts clouding my mind.

Truthfully, if you read the last post, and maybe a few more before, I am pretty sure you know that I am interested in this particular somebody who I'll call tomato in this post.

I can't believe that I have only known her for a month.

Tomato is really a different girl compared to many others. I've had my fair share of friends,girlfriends,girlbros and all and trust me, do not go anywhere near " aiya, because you like her ofc she is different and whatnot ", she is uniquely different and attractive. 

I do not like her or am interested in her just because she is the oddball amongst my experience.

There is always that awkward shyness between us, yet the readiness to tease and even swearing at each other. Note: Might be one sided HAHA.

Well, and to be fair, what cuts me, abit only ah, am affected BUT ABIT ONLY, is that she shuts me off pretty cleanly regarding the relationship side. Her friend did tell me that she likes me as a friend, but it is just the wrong timing.

Yeah besides that, that's it lor. Don't even know where I am going with this.

Just want to throw some thoughts into this space and clear my mind off it. No shit my friends, I like this person. 

But yeah, there's nothing more than this I guess. 

Okay! Peace out mates~ 

Have a great week ahead :)

A little writing on the long way back home

Simultaneously locking my phone whilst looking up after hearing my name being called, all I saw was a pair of ever mesmerizing eyes. A formidable force came along with her stare and it felt uneasy to return.

I twitch and stutter, swallowed as I quickly ran through my mind as to what should I say, but wait, I actually forgot what did she ask, or did she? 

I panic and went into honest mode, the buzzer killer and told her that she looks really fierce though her eyes are really beautiful. 

As I finally managed to look her in the eyes and speak, her right brow raised as if thats what she wanted to reply me.

Them features once again threw me off my guard and made me nervous. "Andy, why the fuck are you cornered? You're the man that is fueled with fucking confidence and laughter", I thought to myself. 

Hastily I started another conversation as I fought to get my composure back on track as the night went on....

Blessings for you M&E

Though you two will never read my blog, Mario & Ellie, I wish you guys all the best in the future!!
I still remember the first day i saw you two meet each other at the a house party, and its my very first house party in melbourne hahaha!

3 and a half years ago, and now, you guys are happily engaged to each other.
It really is such a beautiful thing to witness.


This post is dedicated to you guys and may yall walk hand in hand, lovingly, till the end of time <3 br="">

And as for me? 
Well, been trying to shun the feelings and rejecting all the thoughts. Time is really moving damn fucking slow, its no shit because it has only been what, 3 days since..
Sometimes, even using my favourite "meh~" makes the heart fond for~

Anywho, falling sick, am really tempted to casual antibiotics again.
and cannot gym. FUUUUU...

Regardless, last week of uni before holiday keke ^_^

Feel

Since today got feel to sing chinese songs ( because the past few days its just heavy drops and trance )

And this truckload of assignments is getting on my nerves, feel like just flipping the table.



Then I encounter my own quote.

" Rush the magic, Ruin the flavour "

Think go sleep sua. Cbf think or do anything.

Pieces and fragments

We are like pieces and fragments that fill up upon each other to finally create a final picture.

Falling down from different points, bumping into each other at unexpected moments, sticking together and taking the fall together, leaving halfway throughout the fall. 

Being side by side during the fall, atop or under, a certain distance apart, perfection, imperfection. 

At the end of the day when we land upon ground zero, when we accept each other into our lives, be it fitting perfectly side by side, at weird angles, slanted with a gap, what matters is that that's what we wanted and that we live comfortable in each other's arms. 

Once again.

Up till now, I thank you readers for following my blog, taking the effort to even type out my blog url >_<

Anyway, as we all know, my blog is not a place to promote, to show the world what I am but rather, it is a place where I throw my emotions in as I do not want to tell it to other people, but somehow, when you read it, I am actually.. telling it to you haha.

Anyhow.. Here goes

Everyday, every moment, you might have to open a new door which will ultimately bring you to a different outcome and future.

From the start of age I have always been beginning with the end in mind. For certain things it may seem easy as hell, like as for studies, just study hard, get a degree and get going.

But recent events got me thinking, do I want to apply for a TR in Melbourne, do I want to get PR in Melbourne? It ain't as easy as it seems of course but yeah, I have a feeling I do not want to leave Australia for good and keep it at that. Maybe I could bring my dad's business over here since Australia.

That's just a bit of my thoughts regarding my own future and career wise.

AS FOR the other future, which I am pretty sure, all of you are actually getting pretty tired of already because I have always been failing in it.

It has been pretty torturous journey, honestly. Not that I ain't appreciative of the people that wanted to share their life with me for that period of time but, yknow, shit just doesn't work out to some point, even when I am given the best, I somehow throw it away because of the lack of confidence due to the umpteen failures. ( Ya, you guys will be like, Andy's not confident as a person? Bullshit )

I just met this new person in my life, she's god damn it straightforward, she's funny, retarded in a way ( cause she doesn't even know the way home ), hot, pretty, dances and so on and so forth.

Funny thing is that, she is 6 years apart from me. K, throw the "pedo" at me, ty. ~_~

Yeah, young, crazy, wild and free. My initial thoughts would be, nah, she ain't gonna be ready to be in that kind of stage and all that stuff. But I have never thought of it as being someone that she would always love to be there for her. That can be a new kind of love/concern that I should peak at. Don't dive so hard anymore, do not live on my motto ( run the extra mile ) anymore, just be there for her and thats that.

Yes, the Andy you know will rebut and say, what if you do all of these and she can't see it or idk, end up with some other guy during the journey and what nots.

Kay, my reply to that, and gonna live on it, due to a certain few people in my life that thought me the word #Life, yep, then that's life.

Anyway, getting back on track, just gonna cut it short and get back on assignments, I have a good feeling about this dumborella, have a uptight me inside of me that am afraid of bad outcomes but am just gonna play it cool and let it flow. ( And ending up like chen, if it ever does, meh, wahlau, becoming a chen leh zzz :P )

Haha this shit is always the longest :S

Anyhow, friends are leaving back for good.

Had a crazy time with KC Randall and friends for the past few weeks. Yes, I did real bad things, I broke my principles and went yolo because I really dgaf any more. Gonna miss the times we have even though it is only for awhile. You guys were awesome, honestly. 

Darren, bro, you've been there for me at my lowest. You really didn't give up on me even after you said you would. You know my personality inside out, you know that I am stubborn as fuck yet you were always there for me whenever I called. Sorry I couldn't be there for your grad photos because of the jam and your gastric :/ But anywho, all the best in every future endeavours and lets have a meal in sgp soon ^_^ 

OKAY, waking up to reality on week 4 is definitely not fun. Got "surprise motherfucker"-ed by the assignments really ain't no joke. Take care mates, I promise all of you, I am gonna cherish myself, the people around me, but I am still gonna live life to the fullest.

#Yolofornow<3 div="">

Peace <3 div="">

愛的早，不如愛的剛剛好

鄭伊健把第一個7年給了邵美琪，
第二個7年給了梁詠琪，
抱著不婚主義的浪子，
於第三個7年娶了蒙嘉慧。
二十一年後，
鄭伊健終於修成正果。
女人們用一個個七年，
搭上最好的青春，
也未必求得來一張結婚證書。
有人說，不是邵美琪不夠美，
也不是梁詠琪不夠聰慧，
只是因在他最需要婚姻的時候，
遇到的是蒙嘉慧。
婚姻是什麽？
無非是天時地利人和—想結婚了，
恰好是你在身邊。
愛的早，不如愛的剛剛好！

Freedom

Freedom has always been what I seek.
From the day I was born, I have been entrapped in this illusionary cage that my parents forged for me.
Good cop bad cop were played throughout my entire life between mum and dad.

That is why there is always this barrier that I do not cross just because I am doing it for them, for the two heroes in my life, that gave me my life.

Thus freedom, is when I drive late at night, back from anywhere, all alone in my car with the colors of music pulsating from the speakers into my ears, into my mind.

It is a private and enjoyable moment for me, a moment of joy and happiness where I get to sing, I get to relax and let every fibre of my skin scream with joy.

And to let you into that space, was letting you into my private life.

Driving home from wherever I was before, made me realize how much you were worth to me before.
Not that my reaction is justifiable, but I just want to talk to myself, in my own space.

Havoc time tmr ^_^

Clean slate

Whatever the past, just gonna wipe it clean. New page new chapter, new life. 

The day before my final stressful paper.

Every time I flip back the pages that we once had.
I smile and laugh at the conversations that we once shared.
The pictures were awkward or were smiley.
Everything was so peaceful and happy.

Until I flipped it to its final chapter.
Where all I am left with is dismay.
Anger hatred and whatever it is, with your words ringing and lingering in my head.
Building new memories with another while telling me " who says that I am happy ".

What a disgusting taste to end this book with.



Fucking hell, failed one paper, lucky can special consideration.. zzzzz.

The inner rage

Doing things with another guy and telling yourself that you don't love the other already.

Contain, my rage, contain

Don't haunt me. Just go away

Clairvoyance

Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.

I've had many past girlfriends to be fair.

Some of which that did not end well.

Some did.. well sort of.

I've dated many. I've been hurt plenty.

I've been cheated and faced the scenario head on with many heartbreaks and whatnots.

But what makes it so different this time.

Because this time I loved her, more than anything in the world.

Cause after being hurt from my second relationship, I've never been able to commit properly.

And knowing me, when I commit to something, I really put my entire heart soul and mind into it.

and when it backfired..

I plummet down to negative.

Fuck off.

Please just don't reopen my wounds anymore.

Shoes

Shoes, footwear, they're magic.
Owning a pair of shoe, would enable one to step out onto the world, walk the world and acquire many different experiences.

Without shoes, one would be prone to so much dangers whilst exploring the vast unknown.
Help the poor, donate a pair, give them all a chance to climb and know it all.

Go away.

all of you. 

just go away.

I'm saying

Hooked, is all I've to say. Gonna head to school in afew hours. Haven't slept, but meh. Doesn't matter.

Justification

Why do humans always come up with a reason, an excuse, just something to protect their actions, so as to protect their image just to justify whatever that they are doing is.. justifiable and that nobody knows them so whatever they judge about them is inaccurate or needless to be heed.

Is that why laws are created, rules are implemented to protect the system from such deceit?

Anyway, your Munich flight..

Take care of yourself.
Enjoy yourself.
Forget about me.

Don't worry, I am fine.
even though I still think about you day and night..

What's worst, I can only dedicate and feel lonely about it.
Haven't slept for more than 24 hours already. Something is just wrong with me.

18 days

18 days before the exams.

Damn. Assignments aren't stopping.

Week 12 is next week.



My heart is all fluttery.

I'm still closing my eyes and shadow-tonik to music.

Anyway, just a song for all of you. B)

Writing

Writing, and the pursuit of a woman, like any impossible dream, are not about immediate results. They're about telling the truth.

She has been telling the truth about me all the time but that did not make me give up, because I always had the concept of not giving up. But what destroyed me and made everything into darkness was when she came up with her own truth telling me that everything I've ever done is wrong and that is well observed. That blackened my day and made me give up in every aspect of life.

Yes! I have been clinging non stop.

Yes! I have been checking her every single move.

Yes! That is stalking.

What I've done is obnoxious, selfish and superficial as hell, but I have the balls to do it.

But my point is for you to wait, wait until the chips are down before you move ahead.

Don't just step into the perfect first few months and move along with it!

But whatever you've deemed me wrong, I am going to break them apart bit by bit, cause I am not what you think I am.

And..

What I have been doing may be stalking, but I want to let you people know that borderline stalking, can be charming as well. To be there, at the right place and right moment bringing forth the right feeling and setting up the right ambience for the right girl, that no matter how embarrassing or how wrong that action has to take place, it is the right kind of wrong.

Having you wasn't worth losing you.

My chips were always down to begin with, I was always purely honest with you..

Maybe that's why I got so monotone with you, boring and not someone you look forward to meeting or spending time with.

Regardless..

Next time you ever get into such .. an encounter again, just make sure that the guy isn't in love with you.

Because I am.

Irreversible touch

Moving on is never easy. 

That scar never leaves and it hurts whenever you touch it.

Back in my room alone.

Back in my room alone after a long weekend to thrust myself into forgetting whatever that is in my head.

But I am really sorry, because I've walked back into this path once again.

The sadness that I thought I've already got over and got tired of..

Just came back haunting me again.

It is like..

Sorrow that brings forth tear.

A cry that you cannot hold back.

Depression that cannot be controlled.

Numbness throughout your body.

Emotional breakdown within yourself.

Soulful cries that cannot be expressed.

Somber feeling that is unrevealing to people.

My heart just keeps crying to my brain. There is really nothing, nothing I can do already cept posting all these feelings into my very own space. 

The more I put a fight against this feeling, the stronger it comes back to me.

I'm not pathetic, nor do I want any of your sympathy.

All I want y'all to know, is that I really loved this girl too much that no matter what I have done, force myself to do, break my principles or even forcing myself to move on, it just ain't working.

That no matter how ruthless I want to be or how cold hearted I can get in doing certain things, doing everything and anything to get the job done..

I just can't do this.

I am sorry, everyone.

I always beside you when you put me into your heart

Random chicks and events, high and losing my head.
Occupying and blinding oneself.

Does not help much because at the end of the day..

even if you ain't in my head temporarily.

This is always in my head.

The feeling that you are beside me just because you're ever so deep in my heart.
But you're never there..

Just read something online

" Sometimes the saddest person, is the person who laughs the most "

... ha.

Words

It's only words, and words I only have..

To take your heart away.

Angel

He who listens.

He who protects.

He who will be there every moment and never come out unless he's really needed.

He who lives in your shadows.

He who loves you, and he who will never be mentioned. 

A little Adelaide

Just a little remembrance of Adelaide before I leave. Peace <3

碎掉的心

窗外阴天了 人是无聊了 

我的心开始想你了
电话响起了 你要说话了 
还以为你心里对我又想念了 
怎么你声音变得冷淡了 
是你变了 是你变了 
灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了 
滴下的眼泪已停不住
天下起雨了 人是不快乐 
我的心真的受伤了 

Carpentry

To build a new home, firstly, everything that was once there, has to be demolished.
Everything has to start anew, the roots, the foundation of the house itself.

Superfluous Sentimentalism

The flaming dragon has descended on the wavering moon, against the velvet night sky.

Innocence

I lost the innocent me when I can't find the innocent you anymore.

Universe, work it out please

All I need is this to not be permanent.
Time to make things settle.

A step back from you to see me in another way.

So we can walk two steps front instead of the other way round.
Don't worry about me, I know most of my problems as I'm full of it, wrong in every aspect.

I will work on it.

That's all I need.

I hate thoughtcatalog, but meh. this is really what ive been doing O___O!!!

1. He is your number one fan. He is the first one to congratulate you when you passed all your subjects. He makes the layout of your tarpaulin when you were awarded as cum laude. He delivers the news to everyone when you win a certain contest. He may not carry cheerleading pompoms, but you he makes you feel that you are a superstar.

2. Even during your losing moments, he will still be very proud of you. He will cheer you up and tell you you’re still the best even though you failed to achieve an award you were aiming for or got defeated on a competition. Even if you feel like a pathetic loser, he will make you feel like a winner.

3. He does not fail to text and call you. Whether they are “good morning” and “good night” messages, or a regular reminder for you to eat your breakfast, dinner and lunch. Also, he texts/calls you even though he is with his friends. It may not be like your usual exchange of texts or length of conversations, but then he will make it a point to update you about how he is.

4. You seem to have a personal doctor. He knows your health conditions and restrictions. He has also memorized the medicine or whatever you need to take when you feel sick. And when you do, he takes care of you. But even if he is not beside you, you will still feel his care and he will always wish that you get well soon.

5. He hates it whenever you cry. He feels really terrible. He feels like he is the worst guy on the world. And he will do everything just to wipe away the tears on your eyes.

6. A bird? A plane? Superman? No. He is just your guy. He is your unmasked superhero, your angel in disguise. When someone does something wrong to you or terribly hurts your feelings, the bitch mode in him suddenly switches on.

7. He does not get angry with you when you are too busy. He understands well the nature of your work, he cheers you up when you feel so damn tired and when it is possible, he gives you a helping hand to make your tasks easier.

8. Inspiration—he gives you so much of this. Whenever thoughts of giving up on your dream bothers you, just thinking of him will make you want to aspire and strive further.

9. He is your biggest support system. He makes you feel good when you feel so nervous the day before your thesis defense. He gives the comfort you need whenever you feel like the world is against you. He takes you somewhere when you feel bad. No matter how hard the problems you are facing, he will convince you that you are strong enough and you can do it.

10. Religion is never a BIG issue between the two of you. Yes, you may argue about it a little or it may ignite ‘mild’ hard feelings, but then it only comes once in a blue moon. Also, it has never put your relationship at stake because you understand each other.

11. He trusts you and he assures you that you can trust him too. You cannot deny that both of you get jealous at times, but at the end of the day, you still know that you are his only one. No matter how many girls admire him, you are confident that they can never take him away from you.

12. He never gets tired of telling you how much he loves you. He doesn’t just tell you it every day, but every hour if possible.

13. Actions speak louder for him too. He does not just say that he loves you, he shows it. He holds your hand, brushes your hair, massages you, hugs you, kisses you, puts his hand on your shoulder, brings you home, buys you food, and every little thing he can do just to make you feel loved.

14. You do not feel ‘required’ to give him gifts every time it is your monthsary/anniversary. Yes, you really love giving him presents and he appreciates that, but then, if you really cannot, it does not matter with him.

15. He makes you feel beautiful. He tells you how cute you are and how his thoughts about how your new dress suits you perfectly. You may not be the hottest chick in the campus or the one with the prettiest face, but then in his eyes, no one can exceed your loveliness.

16. You feel safe around him. You used to hate going to malls or other places, or going home late at night because you are overly paranoid that there are ‘bad guys’ around. But then, when he is with you, you are carefree and you feel guarded because you know he protects you.

17. You have fights and conflicts every now and then but it has never become unhealthy or toxic for you. You learn to forgive and accept everything about him. And the best thing is that, it makes your relationship grow much stronger.

18. He shares his dreams with you. He tells you if he wants to take up Law or if he wants to enroll at a film school someday. He also lets you know his dream place to live in and the list of the destinations he wants to travel to. Somehow, this makes you feel a part of his future.

19. He believes in forever with you. He wants you to be the girl he will marry when he reaches the age of 24 or 25. He will do everything just to keep you in his life.

20. You become a better person through him. No matter what kind of person you were, you feel like he has brought out all the best in you. He does not change the way you are. You are still the same person as you were when he met you, you have only become more amazing and a whole lot tougher.

21. He effortlessly makes you love him more every day. You are happy and contented with whatever you have as a pair. You know that your relationship has its own flaws and can never be perfect, but who cares anyway? You love each other so much and it is the most important thing for both of you. Also, you can even think of a lot more to add on this list because he is just too awesome for you. (Just as I do, though I only chose the ones that I think are the best.) 

Let it go~ ( don't laugh )

My heart grows tired as I wait on by, Not a reply to be seen.The feeling of isolation,
and it looks like I'm being ditched.
My heart is sinking as I sit and wait on by,
Couldn't keep it in;
(Start to spam your phone)Heaven knows I've tried

Make you angry,
Dont talk to me,
Is a veryyyy painful thing to me.
I try to mend,
But you don't care, 
Well.. I still care!!

Let it go, let it go
Don't let the past affect this

Let it go, let it go
Turn on phone and message me!
I will wait
No matter how many days
Let time prove my worth

And hope that my love reaches you anyway. 

It's sad that this long distance
Makes everything seems hard
And the fear of losing something
Keeps haunting me and all.

It's time to stop what I always do 
Don't test the limits but wait through
No kalz, no her, no life for me,
Unhappyyyyy!

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the tears and sighs
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Heres my stand
And here I'll say
Let time prove my worth 

My patience grows as seconds ticks and ticks on by 
But I sit in misery with complex moments as I fuss
And if you forgive me and let the past all slide
I'll never fail again, the past is in the past.

Let it go, let it go
We can love each other once again

(We can start all over as good friends)
Let it go, let it go 
That problem won't come back
Here's my stand

With the vows I've made
Put your faith in this

Lets work this thing out together anyday!

How easy is it..

How easy is it to forget, that we were once in love..
How easy is it to forget, that we shared good times..

How easy is it to forget, the person we used to love..
How easy is it to forget how to smile genuinely again..

How easy is it...

Reminder to self

Andy low guo hao.

You will only be there if ever you are needed. 

This is a promise.

That no matter how tough it will be, how heart quenching it will be...

You will bite the bullet, bang the table, clench your fist, and soldier through it.

Don't fear for the bad outcome, fear that you did not do the right thing, panic and mess things up again!

All about myself.

Imagine when you come back home, it's the four walls that are staring at you.

Imagine all you could do was to fight abit harder just to love somebody more and show her that, even though you're in this far away land alone, you're still lively as can be. 

Then shit pours on you for an entire day ending with the person you love the most getting pissed off at you or the problem.

And not only that, you incur the wrath of another in the same bloodline and whatever excess that you have been paying to show your love to her, that you've never complained, wasn't even taken into account except the current problem.

And you've to clear the dirt whilst waiting for time to cleanse the fresh wound.

Every single arrow, is pointing at you.

And your loved one tells you that you always think for yourself when your initial goal and action is not for yourself.

Tell me how should I feel.