Immaturity.. kills.

My post has nothing to do with the title.

The past few days has been a really headache for me, thinking and stressing over lotsa stuffs.
But now, I'm really a happy guy, letting go of everything that I should.

I'm creating all the goals that I want, and keeping all the friends I have, those that are worth it.
The only obstacle is " the way to attain the goals " , nothing else.

September, will be my next step to a new chapter in life.
Forgive and forget those that offended me.
Remember, doesnt mean that a breakup, is a bad thing andy.
Don't forget that concept in life.

He/she might become my buddy once again, but, time will do the telling, guts and thickskin will bring people to a new level, forget the pride of ur own, put it down, and earn respect/trust.
Thats what I've to say :)

AND TO MY ALUMNI FUCKERS..

MONDAY IS A SUPER HAPPY DAY I TELL YOU HAHAHAHA!!!!
IF YOU DO CHECK OUT MY BLOG, PLEASE PEND FOR MONDAY, EVEN AH LIM WILL SMILE LIKE FUCKING NO TMR I TELL YOU HEHEHEHE!!!!!!

Labels : esctatic :D

The brittle-ness, of my heart.

She said, its a sooner or later thing.
She gave me the you deserve it feeling.
She showed me that she could live better off without me.
She made me a fool of this part of my life.
She really made a man cry.
She opened up to everyone else, EXCEPT ME.

I really wanna wreck havoc, somehow. But I dont know how.
Maybe, I'm gonna do this... even if the world hates me. I will do it..

cansado de la vida

I feel that its viable,
just teach me how.

I promise I'll adapt quick,
and give you no trouble.

Just dont drift away.
Please.

At the icecream store..

I threw away that icecream, cause it brought pain to my teeth.
Got attracted by a new flavour and doubts of whether it'll satisfy my likings occured.

It's like just after a few weeks when this thing came about.
I ponder over it, wondering if I should like..

go all out and try it.
or spend more time, researching before taking the next step.

Some people play it safe, some people gamble.
I do both, and most of the time, i do it right.
But when it comes to such stuffs, I get all messed up and flustered and confused.

Please, someone just help me. I really wanna give it a try, again.

Labels : courage-loss.

I've yet, to walk through that storm..

continuing from the title..

but I'm current surviving on a piece of plank, that might not stay afloat or ensure my safety long.
At this part of my life, flashbacks like..

xiaopang and me, trying to keep team members in the team as we need a whole of 20men rowers.

Enrique jasper shengde, trying so hard to bring people into the team, after a year's wait.

Ronald, blending into everyone's life, asking why about their attendance and boosting their morale.

Zhenwei and Ahben always the joke in the team.

Xueyao was kinda MIA if i remember right, but he surely did scare me when i saw his tattoo for the firsttime, i knock onto him while rowing. hahaha!

And.. vermon, whoms a guy with too much commitment, but he still tries his best to come down, although mr lim is a kind of guy too much for him to take it.

Maybe its just too much ego within and one expect the upper level to understand his situation. But when u join a certain organisation, everyone expect you to do your best and bring up the team, not to just do it as a leisure hobby.. Because there're people within that worked so hard just wanting to win that medal/trophy/honour/glory/pride, that doesnt even cost a cent and doesn't helps ur future, but its a sense of satisfactory, that only some will understand..

Waiting for the chosen ones, are not easy, but why one doesn't wants to strive to make himself the chosen one , and do people proud..

Why wimp and hide and gain glory.. totally, the faggot way.

Anyways...

Then we got a bunch of potential but most aren't chosen ones.. a bunch that now, is gone..

Forgotten the roots, and never asked, why did he give up on us.
Lost the balls to stand up and plead him back to teach.
Went blindly, thinking that there's a new entrance to our future,
Got too obessed, never pondering why.. why.. was there this entrance.

The man, whom teaches, people to be independent, was too much for some people's ego to take.
It's either hes too childish, or he loves to run away from problems. [ If you couldn't take such remarks, why joined in the first place? , for your own benefit? for your own selfishness? for your aura or they call it that SEH that you're a dragonboater? ] Don't fuck with me over such cock.

Yes, I'm not saying doing that is wrong. But its wrong in my perspective. You can stand by ur side and argue ur rights, but let me tell you, in life, to attain this kind of understanding, is very easy. It's just whether you want or not. Whether you can open up to all these stuffs and feel what I've felt.

Of course, who doesn't wants to get praised.
But if you worked so hard and people scold you, you get so fedup and pissed off.
Why? My only reason is, you're fucked up, you're not working hard enough or smart enough.

Directly saying, you lack brains. Oh shit, I've gone overboard here. Time to stop this bombard.

Back to the subject, I've not really wasted these life in that sport.
I've learnt many things, things that I'll need in life. and found valuable people that will be part of my life, trustworthy people, that I'll rely and depend on, for now..

I did wonder, why did i go through dragonboat..
Is it because i love water sports?
or because i needed this mental power
or both,

cause my future, will require alot of such power, cause its really a tough road ahead, like..

my beginning, yes, its a storm ahead, I lost my boat, I'm on a plank, I'm panting heavily, I've a death ripple coming my way, that burns off everything that comes, into microscopic molecules. Ahead, the sky is dark but still visible, the typhoon's pressures, a glimpse of hope, even if its 0.0001% of success rate, I'll swim to that island, to keep my life, and carve something out, this life.

This life, my goal, my aim, its all gonna be at that island, I'll swim there, I'll pick up whatever thats useful to me and this life, I won't falter, I promise, giving up, is never an option anymore.

This life, andy, you'll push it, till u break, and force urself to wake, till u succeed.

Labels : awaken.

I see human fumes
and I see lunatism in me.

wtf is wrong.

Labels : emotion disorder

This time, with absolute prediction and accurate precision..

I've seen people, who were once closed to me, drifting, and they never looked back.
I've tried to hang on to em, ask em whether if they'll flutter back, and they said maybe.

Now, I prefer to let em go, and seek out new friends.
Even though the long years we've been connected, its hard to let go, but it shall be done.

This push, I'll only carry those that will bring me through this phase of life, and the future they'll be kept deep in my heart, from..

today on.

Labels : friends.

I stare into the sky, and asked why.

Pouring water onto my flames, and walk away pretending..

I have a sudden urge to give up..
Think this push, is a waste, honestly.

Even though life's still filled with many promising futures for me, that i strongly believe.
But the negative side overwrites me.

Really, brought up that smile and that character within me, with all my might.
But the moment I let go abit, I burn out.

Wheres that enthusiam..
All the hardwork that I put in throughout my years just vanished, within days after months of fruit.

Cornered is what I feel..
The moment I let go of it, they die on me.

Sometimes, so much for placing em priority in my heart, when they go on with their own life, their words are never trustable.

They never tried to look back, even if they did, they just feel too lazy to initiate.
They will dare to say they've thought about it, but actions are what we dont see.

Now, its not just them stabbing a knife right into my heart, but..

Me myself squeezing my own heart, gritting my teeth, clenching my fists..
With one side of me telling me to just go all out and burst the heart, and live somewhere else happier and better off without all these thoughts..

or..

To let go of that pain, a man will attain enlightenment if he passes through this stage. One will feel learned, and overcome such events in the future easily, without falling once more, and complete this life..

This life that only the strongest/smartest will live through it all, enjoyable-ly.

and for my attitude, I aim for the strongest/smartest, even though I know my limits, I'll break that limit and fight this life's obstacles.

For now, FUCK THIS WORLD, BACK TO THE OLD FUCKEROO I WAS, AND..

THE REAL HELL BEGINS TOMORROW.

Labels : giving up, not.

Like a tree without leaves and branches

I fucking hate to cry.
Crying is really for the weak.
Men should shed blood.

But I keep sheding youknowwhat.
Fucking andy, quit being a sissy and stand up like a man.
Who told you its a bad thing, wheres that mentality. WAKE UP~

Sonic Syndicate - Enclaved

We are uninvited guests

in this melancholy world

and soon you learn

that the only thing worth to treasure

are the people that actually care

then why are there still tears in your eyes?

So I'm trying to teach you something

but you turn away

so I'm trying to show you the path

but you'll walk astray

I would cross the seven seas

just to get to you

I wouldn't sleep a thousand nights

to give what belongs to you.

The token of all I was

I traded for my escape

to see a new horizon

and my burden finally rests now

In the depths of it's water grave

but the waves of the river will always remember.

Forever isn't long enough

in the company of you

my heart will always beat your name.

Labels : down and out.

I want reciprocate.

*Breathes in*

Here goes my story for today..

One day..
A farmer found a pig in the forest, and he took really good care of it.
Then one day he found a cow and whenever he treat it well, it gave him back milk.

And wondered, why didnt he reap what he sow, cause the pig cleared his assets while the cow always return him a bottle of milk for his income.

Then he thought, should he let go of the pig, cause the cow would sustain his life, alil longer.

Labels : story.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

Yes yes, introducing, the latest favourite machine of mine.

Effect? It makes you thighs look bigger, nah, and you have a strong base for rowing dragonboat :D You know you know, firm base = excellent to every sport.

Anyways, today, I did 5 pieces of 20kg each side, super... happy?! The satisfactory is ABCDEFG LAH! I'm looking forward to wednesdays from now on man :D hehehe.

My own quote of the day, the brain is a very impt factor in life. Take note, people out there!

Labels : Leg press

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Jack Neo's latest show, Money not enough 2 's what I'm gonna write about today.
It's.. never fails on the comedy part, and of course, the touching part is always there to make everyone cry.
Honestly, I almost cried, held back only. The part where its about filial peity.. the part where, when the mom dies, then one starts to regret and everything, really really reflect on us singaporeans.

My grandfather just died recently.
I was damn sad, but I couldn't cry. I've gotta be strong, cause my dad cried, due to certain reasons.

My uncle aunties, those son and daughters of my grandfather, came back, some cried and stuffs.
Yes, of course they went emotional and stuffs, losing a dad, that always forked out for their living and they didn't do the same.

If I'm not wrong, throughout my entire 19 years of life, they didn't spend a single cent, on every restaurant outing we had, every important event we had, and TRIED to visit my grand parents during chinese new year only. Every single thing, utilities, tax and everything, my dad was forking out. Then when grand pa passed away, they came back and cry.

For my judgement, they confirm regret, but only to a certain extend. Really..

My post today, is for you people, to start to cherish your parents. They raise you up, without a complain, yes, they scold you or swear for some, but they still bring you up don't they. Please, at the end of the day, you're still their flesh and blood.

Love your parents, show em you do :)

Labels : parents/love