It just keeps ringing in my head.
-Aren't my feelings important as well. ( a part of me still wants you to have feelings for me )
What's with being "I am very busy nowadays", gotta do with the future.
Will you throw away, someone who loves you whole heartedly for what you are cooped up with temporarily?
And use sentences like "以后再说".
-I am afraid of losing things, that's why I always hold on so tight ( fuck, being repitive again, it's like why let go when we can try, everyday , every minute every second is a new beginning, a new attempt ).
What's with my undying love that keeps keeping me in love with you
-Why am I so in love with you. ( all I want is you to give a fuck about where what how I am doing and going despite your busy schedule cause 10seconds of your time before the train arrives is an opening for such thoughts/actions )
What's with not unblocking and not adding me back.
- since you can just block, you also can just unblock, add back and all no? 10seconds action, you can't be too busy for that? ( what's with that unwillingness, cause it'll give you a bad image? I gave up image about myself for you long ago. All I want to be is your hero, someone who you can always look up to, instead of looking up to other people ) <- okay reading it seems like I need to have an outer image for others.. Hmm..
What's with me trying to not end a call with you and telling you I don't wanna put down the call.
- so I can make myself look like a wimp in your eyes when all I want is just more time with you and hoping you'd want the same or get moved by my efforts?
What's with the endearing Takecare at the end of the call.
- it gives me so much mixed emotions. I don't even know what I should do cept believe in miracles.
I really feel uber miserable, but fret not. I'm gonna put up a front, and only be honest with myself until I hate myself and self destruct one day.
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