I've yet, to walk through that storm..

continuing from the title..

but I'm current surviving on a piece of plank, that might not stay afloat or ensure my safety long.
At this part of my life, flashbacks like..

xiaopang and me, trying to keep team members in the team as we need a whole of 20men rowers.

Enrique jasper shengde, trying so hard to bring people into the team, after a year's wait.

Ronald, blending into everyone's life, asking why about their attendance and boosting their morale.

Zhenwei and Ahben always the joke in the team.

Xueyao was kinda MIA if i remember right, but he surely did scare me when i saw his tattoo for the firsttime, i knock onto him while rowing. hahaha!

And.. vermon, whoms a guy with too much commitment, but he still tries his best to come down, although mr lim is a kind of guy too much for him to take it.

Maybe its just too much ego within and one expect the upper level to understand his situation. But when u join a certain organisation, everyone expect you to do your best and bring up the team, not to just do it as a leisure hobby.. Because there're people within that worked so hard just wanting to win that medal/trophy/honour/glory/pride, that doesnt even cost a cent and doesn't helps ur future, but its a sense of satisfactory, that only some will understand..

Waiting for the chosen ones, are not easy, but why one doesn't wants to strive to make himself the chosen one , and do people proud..

Why wimp and hide and gain glory.. totally, the faggot way.

Anyways...

Then we got a bunch of potential but most aren't chosen ones.. a bunch that now, is gone..

Forgotten the roots, and never asked, why did he give up on us.
Lost the balls to stand up and plead him back to teach.
Went blindly, thinking that there's a new entrance to our future,
Got too obessed, never pondering why.. why.. was there this entrance.

The man, whom teaches, people to be independent, was too much for some people's ego to take.
It's either hes too childish, or he loves to run away from problems. [ If you couldn't take such remarks, why joined in the first place? , for your own benefit? for your own selfishness? for your aura or they call it that SEH that you're a dragonboater? ] Don't fuck with me over such cock.

Yes, I'm not saying doing that is wrong. But its wrong in my perspective. You can stand by ur side and argue ur rights, but let me tell you, in life, to attain this kind of understanding, is very easy. It's just whether you want or not. Whether you can open up to all these stuffs and feel what I've felt.

Of course, who doesn't wants to get praised.
But if you worked so hard and people scold you, you get so fedup and pissed off.
Why? My only reason is, you're fucked up, you're not working hard enough or smart enough.

Directly saying, you lack brains. Oh shit, I've gone overboard here. Time to stop this bombard.

Back to the subject, I've not really wasted these life in that sport.
I've learnt many things, things that I'll need in life. and found valuable people that will be part of my life, trustworthy people, that I'll rely and depend on, for now..

I did wonder, why did i go through dragonboat..
Is it because i love water sports?
or because i needed this mental power
or both,

cause my future, will require alot of such power, cause its really a tough road ahead, like..

my beginning, yes, its a storm ahead, I lost my boat, I'm on a plank, I'm panting heavily, I've a death ripple coming my way, that burns off everything that comes, into microscopic molecules. Ahead, the sky is dark but still visible, the typhoon's pressures, a glimpse of hope, even if its 0.0001% of success rate, I'll swim to that island, to keep my life, and carve something out, this life.

This life, my goal, my aim, its all gonna be at that island, I'll swim there, I'll pick up whatever thats useful to me and this life, I won't falter, I promise, giving up, is never an option anymore.

This life, andy, you'll push it, till u break, and force urself to wake, till u succeed.

Labels : awaken.