Hero once again

Self reflection-

Today I did something even I myself feel terrible about.
I feel like a scum yet I feel like I needed to do something for myself..

Because my whole life, I've been swallowing every shit, and the worst part is that nobody knows.
They just want to be happy, be selfish, think for themselves and hope that nothing bad or sad will happen to them.

Then that is where my role comes in, bring happiness, and leave with nothing but sadness.
It's kinda retarded, like all I get is just emptiness or shit kinda treatment. Besides my parents, I'm treated like a secondary object.

Yet my parents always say this phrase in Chinese " whatever you do, you must think about other people's plight ". And when I say what if I'm left with nothing at the end of the day, they'll say " don't have then don't have! it doesn't harm you also what right? "

They always tell me to be contented in life, don't do harm to people, whatever shit that comes your way, think of it as a light punishment and I might receive a bigger one if not for me being nice all this while etcetc.

But they never realize my feelings were trampled on by so many people. These people treat me like garbage when I treat them like jewels.

That is why, today I wanted to redeem myself by getting back at the person whom did all these bad things to me, so that I can exact revenge and make a stand that I'm not somebody you want to mess around with, cheat his feelings or whatsoever.

I feel so pathetic, that I stoop down to that level but I really, really just want to be happy with whatever I have. But you have to leave me when I thought I had you already, and tbh, was way contented and ecstatic.

Today, I pulled off another hero call, I decided to walk away. I wish you the best of luck.