The last post until awhile

My only regret is to see you sad.
I know that I am the one who inflicted everything.

But you've never expressed that thought for me before. You just keep going through the motion, while I keep suffocating in pain.

But again, it is okay, at least I forced you to make a decision and should be delighted that you have made a decision, regardless of is it me or not.

I thank you for all the love you showered me with, which I believe those were real, but at the same time, after all of these, it felt like they were real because he wasn't around.

Even if you were to break up with him 3 weeks later and come back to me, I am very sure I cannot accept that. Because if you really did love me, you wouldn't let him stay with you, and its after that 2 blows you did to me.

I am just explaining.
You can just read.

But to my readers reading this, wish me good luck in that darker path which I've just chosen.
It is not the right thing, infact, people in the right mind will say it is the stupidest thing to do.

In fact, I'll also say the same thing, but really, there is a reason why people will succumb to that route. This past week made me realize, that walking this route can be another choice to another kind of happiness. Even if I know that the smiles will be carved out by the aid of some other organic substances, at least, I can really laugh and smile once more. Temporary or not, I'd rather do it.

Because too much shit has got to me. I'm really on the verge of giving up on life.
But because my parents did so much for me, it is only right for me to repay them. I will, I will repay them and make them proud of me in the right way, but for myself, I just want to be happy and smile again.

Thank you for the visits readers. I wish y'all all the best in life, and hope y'all won't get my kind of life. Get something better, something that can bring you more smiles everyday.

Good day.